I wish my mother would stay.the.fuck.out/away. when it comes to art.
shes an agriculture specialist. who was educated at clemson in south carolina. and has never set foot in a gallery except for my shows. where she picks pieces off of pedestals, and tries to carry them across rooms to show people.

and calls the smithsonian institute with sappy fucking emails, looking for an stream-of-concience inscription that may or may not mention me on a piece of pottery from their collection.
who.fucking.cares.
i certainly fucking dont. and I dont like namedropping, which she forces me to do every.single.fucking.time.she.can.work.it.into.the.conversation.
I dont care if my name comes up in one of peters pieces. and certainly not whether or not that piece is in a museum or not. What I care about is him, and the person that he was to me. and that my namesdropping parents are too lazy to drive me to see him, despite the fact that he probably wont live for that much longer.
I'm just really beyond upset, because my mom seems to feel as though she can suddenly step up and take credit or pride from things that happened when she had left, when she didnt even bother to talk to me. shes never cared about me until recently. when shes handicapped and needs someone to look after the house, and to look after her. now all of the sudden shes taking an interest in what im doing, and insisting that it can become part hers, too.
I dont want her to be my partner in anything. especially not art. I dont care if she just wants to handle the "managing" part of it. she uses everyone in her life, and thats all that she wants me for now.

pretty soon shes going to find out that shes not the only one who can use someone.
soon as i dont need her for room and board, soon as I am starting to be able to really support myself, I'm out of here. I used to just regard her as completely pathetic. a whiney, crying bimbo who used men and everyone else to support her famiscle of an upper-middle-class existance. not having enough money for food so she can send her kid to some elitist private school, and a membership to a country club. yeah mom, sounds great.
now im beginning to hate her.