Another day in the Shop With No Customers.

And it's raining, raining, raining. I get to work and I'm soaked, stuck in wet jeans and the rain stops, I leave work and it starts again.

My nan is staying with us because she had an operation. She has a vacuum in her soul but that's not why they were operating, they just mended her carpal tunnel.

She poisons the ambience of our little domestic world and it's not her fault, but like a black hole the vaccum in her soul drags in the life from a room and the oxygen and the lightness too. And if I think much about her life it's all too sad.

So the house is under clouds. And outside the sky is very, very bright behind the houses.

My mother openly dislikes her mother-in-law and talks down to her, my father has only dutiful contact with his mother but they're similar. And she's a boarded up version of a person; silent, holding grudges and kind to children who are low stakes and easily forgiving and forgivable. She should have been born at a different time, to a different family or met some man who wasn't just another version of her bastard father and then she might have been happy.

Because god, people need to be happy. They need people who understand them.

And thank god for my mother, and her mad family because they're sentimental and insane and have stand up shouting fights and hissy fits, but at least they can fill a house and not drag the fabric of the universe into the grey.