Dear College,

I'm so over you.
No more German Poetry and music analysis--please, no more.
I really don't want to sit through my creative writing critique tomorrow, can't I just...not show up?
Chiong, I love you, hey, you're all into dogs and old people and lady health...but these homework assignments that end up being ten pages long and only worth three points are killing me.
Psychology with your midterms and your papers and your readings and your experiments, what the hell kind of major do you think you are?
And the food, the price and the quality....
And the spiders in my dorm room and the noise at night from the crazy people playing loud classical music and the street sweeper that comes around 1.15 and Josefina cleaning the bathroom at eight and singing....
I can't take it.

Your faithful slave,
E. Harrison