Why the FUCK is there anything in our fucking body called the HEART?!
No really.I wana know. And why does it break?And keep breaking?Until the point you duno if your even alive? How come you think your O.V.E.R this god damn person BUT every break up song/scenario reminds you of that freakin person who fucking seems SO peacefull and happy in their life??
Whenever,whenever i look at her, im left with nothing but an empty,blank feeling.a space.a hollow. Why does her presence seem so bitter? From friends,to lovers,to barely anything? Is this how it is "supposed" to be?
No,i dun expect us to be get back.No,i dun even expect us to be friends.
But you know,when your around,and we are alone? Do you feel the discomfort,or is it just me? How come we dunt talk? exchange a few words,maybe? Why am i forced to remember what we would have done in a situation like this if we were together?
And then i notice us laughing and exchanging words to one another amogst our friends,as if nothing ever happened.
I question myself,am i really,trully over you? Have i let go of all your memories,good and the bad one's? Are you gone yet? How much longer is it going to take?
Why dont i know how to just be around you? Why cant we just be one perticular thing and follow it?Does it have to be this hard?
I just,i duno...I miss us.Ok,there you go,i said it.I duno what i miss though.I duno if i miss our friendship or the love bit.Or maybe both.
Do you miss any?Do you miss our late night talks and our laughter and the fun we shared together...or do you miss me?
I duno what im blabbering.Ive lost it.Its one of my "emo unstability moods" where all nonsense comes out.Oh but trust me,Im way better than the time when you left me.Im much more stable and healthier and happy with my new girlfriend =)
I caught you wearing the Best Friend chain i gave you,when we were,you know,friends. Ive kept mine in the memory box,dint have the balls to throw it. Just wanted to know why you still wear it. Fashion accesory,maybe?
Oh and the colarge i once made for you?The one where its written in big bright colours that i love you?Yea,uhm,I saw it still up on your wall.I assume its because you think it makes your wall look more attractive.
And i know you would never ever read this but i promise this is the last post on you. I never even thought i would write one on you after i thought im actually "over" you.
And uhm,no.Me and D dint do anything on the physical front yet.Im just gona let you think that we're always rocking the bed.
I duno if i love you or not.I duno if i miss you or not.But i want you to know im NOT obsessing over anything.Nope,Im not.really.Im not obsessive about it all.Really.
Thats it,im gona stop blabbering now.