So I accidentally cut myself really fucking bad at about 4:30 Thursday morning.

I showed my crush's mum because she's a nurse and she said I should have gotten stitches but I didn't want to get sent to aurora or wherever they would have sent me because it is obviously self inflicted and all my other scars.

So I didn't go to the doctor.
That was a really big run on sentence up there oh well.

Monday I have to go talk to a therapist or whatever because someone told my mum.

I was four days sober off weed and alcohol but I drank last night then smoked a bowel cause I was drunk enough to forget that I was supposed to have quit.

When I woke up this morning I felt normal and didn't want to cut or cry or have as many suicidal thoughts as I had the past four days.

So I don't know what that means but its not good.

Crush update..
I haven't really talked to her much today.
She was at driving class until four and now she's shopping with her mum I'm assuming.

I'm off.
I told my friend I'd come back to her house when I was done doing whatever I had to do today.