Uncomfortable feelings...
I think I'm jealous...I have no right to be...But you always said that I was your first everything...First real kiss included...And I guess...maybe I feel like you lied...I know I can't compete. You loved her first...But what can I do but sit here and watch you hurt and not know how to change it? She was so amazing and I know that I can never measure up, and I don't expect to...But how can I compete with somebody who haunts you so amazingly...A living, breathing human...I might be fine...but...What can I do? I can see the depth of love and somehow, I just feel inadiquet...Maybe I want to be loved like that...I'm not sure...But I want you to be able to talk to me...so how can I tell you to stop talking, when you tell me so little...I hurt now...
no ♥
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-Sigh- I don't know what to
-Sigh- I don't know what to say.....I love you. More than you will realize. Amy, she's gone....yes, I still miss her, and I do still love her. But it's nothing more than friendship. You are my everything...and I don't tell you things because I'm not used to being close. After all this time...I'm still not used to it. And I'm embarrased with some of the things my mind comes up with. I don't want you to hurt or think you have to compete to get my love with someone who's dead. She's gone. All of my love is for you. I love you, and please...please don't hurt. You are my world. My everything. My moon, my stars, my breathing. You're the reason my heart beats each and every day. PLease, please don't ever think otherwise.
Sorrow you can hold, however desolating, if nobody speaks to you. If they speak, you break down.
~Bede Jarrett~