I giggled as she broke my heart,
Deep in the pillows that we shared,
For hiding love’s a clever art,
And in her eyes, I’d never cared.
I kept a smile on my lips
For every time she looked at me,
As tears welled up from ragged rips
That I could feel, but none could see.
And so I laughed through all that day;
Her ignorance remained my prize,
Though once I knew they’d gone away,
I broke and gave up my disguise.
I’d giggled as she broke my heart,
But should have cried right from the start.

I don’t write many sonnets, but I gave this one my best shot. The rhyming makes it feel kind of sing-songy and light, which I’m not sure I like (because it’s on a pretty bittersweet subject). I don’t know. Any feedback would be appreciated.

I wrote it about an incident that happened on an overnight trip. Through an ironic series of circumstances, I ended up sharing a hotel bed with The Girl I like so much, Marie. We woke up before six that morning, and as I lay there all groggy and sleepy and warm, I heard her roll over next to me, and she reached over and pulled my hair, gently, to wake me up. I felt like my heart was going to melt – I imagined what it would be like to wake up that way every morning – and then reality rushed back into my head and I remembered her boyfriend and her straightness and everything else… and the poem says the rest.

Yeah. Would appreciate feedback, if anyone feels like giving it.