so far this taking-time-off-of-school thing has been a little miserable.
its really lonely being confined all of the time, and when i do get to talk to people i care about, it sometimes gets even more upsetting because the way that i think of them has remained suspended in these little emotion-bubbles, but they've moved on, things have been changing for them, and people-- relationships-- cant be expected to be the same from year to year. which is of course how things always go, but somehow that comes as a very emotionally isolating suprise when you only see the people that you want to be with a few times a year.

im just so depressed right now and i really need to get out of the house. unfortunately the only way i can do that is get a ride from my dad, who literally only goes out to go to work and to see his girlfriend. both of which dont involve me for obvious reasons.

EDIT:
after some sorely needed quality phone time, I feel infinitely better. its funny how even the slightest bit of quality human interaction can change my mood so drastically these days.