This is a follow up to my last journal entry. I don’t actually know how many people read my entry so I don’t know how many people will remember it. I’m basically attracted to my friend who doesn’t know I’m gay. Basically.
Through luck I’ve found another gay guy in the college I attend. I’m not really attracted to him but that’s beside the point. He has become, what I feel to be, an asset. I’ve been talking with him, and another person I deem an asset, and through the mixed interpretation of the two I’ve decided that my friend most likely does know that I am gay. However, there is a strong difference between the knowing of me being gay, and the actual acknowledgement of my being gay. I think my friend knows I’m gay but he’s never asked me…well he has but that was a long time ago…I told him no then but that’s because I wasn’t ready to tell him then. I feel more ready now.
I hope that what I told him in the past isn’t stuck in his mind today, like a type of abstinence. I believe that my friend does know I’m gay. One of my assets told me that my friend may be trying to convince himself that I’m not gay, because it would change the friendship, for at least a time, he has with me. I agreed at the time he said this but have since changed my mind.
Anyway I guess if I were to have any questions to ask I’d ask you guys if you would tell him or not? I’d love to tell him but personally, I think it would be best to wait for him to ask with sincerity. This way I know for sure that he wants to know. So then I’d ask if you thought that was a wise idea? I doubt he’d do anything mean, like ask me in front of a group but what if he did? How would I respond to that situation if it occurred?
Either way I guess someday I’ll find out. Feel free to PM me.