I've been having issues prioritising school over all else, lately. See a couple of weeks ago, a close friend of mine tried to kill herself. I can see you all sitting back saying "so what? People I know cut/drink/fuck themselves up all the time." Well... that stuff just doesn't happen in the group of people I know. And this girl... the last thing she wants is attention. But she told a teacher, went to the hospital, her parents found out and she's seeing therapests and on meds. Still scared the shit out of me. Then I found out that another friend of mine broke up with her abusive boyfriend. This friend who's pregnant, but is going to terminate the baby because it's got a high risk for mental disabilities and such and she really has no way financially to take care of it. But now she's back with her boyfriend, blaiming her freak out on hormones. Still going to terminate the baby, which I do agree with, but I'm still worried for her. Monday, I found out that a third friend got kicked out of her house Sunday night for practicing her drama monologue too loudly, and had to spend the night in her car. Note that it was like -40 C out. Her mom is psycho, I knew this, my parents knew this, but that was fucking extreme. And yesterday I had to go in for surgery on my ear, only to wake up and after spending four hours waiting for the doctor and on morphine find out that they couldn't do anything, and my hearing in that ear is always going to be decreased. Now I've got the mother of all sore throats from the tube they had shoved down it, and cotton stuffed in my ear until the end of the month. School having been out so many days this month already, plus this week which I'm missing to recover, I'm just having a really hard time remembering that it really does matter and life is continueing around me and life means school and I need to do my fucking work, damnit.
Don't mind me, I'm just ranting. And had to get it all out.
In better news, the youth group for lgbt teens in my county started up last night! I went, even though all the nurses told me to stay in bed once I got home...haha. A friend of mine who I met at the city youth group organized the entire thing himself, and my English teacher is one of the adult facilitators. It's pretty sweet.
As for my love life? It doesn't exist. I have no classes with the distractionary crush and she's been rejecting my offers to hang out because she's rather busy. And I haven't spoken to the neverfuckingending crush sinse the night we had coffee and rode the bus to have more coffee and sie hugged me and we cheek kissed and *headdesk*.
Finally? My best friend effectively ignores me in the one class we have together to hang out and talk to her drama friends. I wish I could be angry, instead of just wanting to cry every day it happens. I don't even understand it... as soon as we're out of the class and at our lockers it's life as usual, she talks to me and jokes and everything's good.
As I said, don't mind me, I'm just having an emo night. I think I shall go eat my deformed chocolate chip cookies and watch Farscape.