Once upon a time, there was a land filled with wonder and delight and all of God's happy fluffy creations. All the creatures lived happily. And then God made Eve. And he saw that she was perfect. And Eve because friends with all of the happy animals and it was good. But none of the animals could talk, and Eve began to get lonely because God was too busy with everything to talk to her. So God made Me. And even though Eve's beauty and kindness was so much greater than mine, now she was happy. And I was happy, too, in that land of wonder and delight and happy creatures. And Eve and I lived there being happy together and with the fluffy animals. And God said, "be fruitful and multiply," and we tried. All of the other animals gradually became more, but there was just no way. So we shrugged and decided that we didn't need any more people because we were happy with each other. We decided to eat fruit instead. But God was really worried because we were the only one of his creations that wasn't working properly. So God made Adam. And Adam was so stunned by Eve's beauty that he did everything he could to take her away from me. And Eve saw that she found something in Adam that she hadn't seen in me, and that was more than just someone to talk to and keep warm at night. So Adam and Eve lived there together, and they were fruitful and multiplied. But I was always jealous of Adam and I cursed their children. One was a jealous, spiteful child and killed the other. And because I had caused so much anger in the world, God made me doomed to a life without anyone even to talk to and I couldn't connect with anyone as I had with Eve.