out to teachers?

xmoonlitxkissesx3's picture

okay, so i'm gay and i'm proud of it. i'm sure we share this. =] and i really want to be out and open about it. i mean the kids at school should know by now. but what do you think about teachers? do you think coming out to teachers is a good thing? are you out to your teachers?

ForeverEndedToday's picture

Hmm the only teacher I'm

Hmm the only teacher I'm officially out to was my English teacher and the reason why was just for good grades. Seriously. She was the type of teacher that unless you wrote really personal stuff she wouldn't give you a good grade. Turns out her sister is a lesbian. In the end it's totally up to you. If kids are giving you trouble at school it's a good thing (maybe a guidance counselor?).
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I travel 'round the block
And I'm not looking to my right
I feel the glass against my cheek
And I can't see you in the light
I break my heart around this

I bleed audio's picture

Teachers probably know

I just finished my student teaching (round 1) and have been working at the after school care program for the local school district for the past two years. The thing about coming out to teachers is: Chances are they already know. Now I may be a special case or something like that, being gay myself but I've heard teachers discuss in the privacy of the teachers lounge such subjects. Plus my co workers sometimes joke about kids in the program that they suspect will end up being gay. This slightly irritates me but besides this my work relations are positive so I don't want to rock the boat so to speak.
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Despite all the things you may have learned, if you play with fire then you're bound to get burned

loreonpravus's picture

I'm pretty sure my phys ed

I'm pretty sure my phys ed teacher already knows because I asked her about girl on girl sex during the health unit this semester (and she actually went into quite a bit of detail) and I think she's seen me with my girlfriend. Apart from her, I don't really think my math and french teachers know or really care. I was out to a coach too, so I'm basically only out to the teachers I'm friendly with.

underage_thinker's picture

At the beginning of the

At the beginning of the year, a lot of my teachers had us either write "about me" things or write them a letter telling them who we were. I included it there. Also, my English teacher has us write in our "journal" a lot, and only she reads it. My first entry was about coming out to my parents.
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I find you quite amusing, and I’m sure you love me too, But sadly I am Lesbian, Though I’ll pretend for you
-M.A.A.

corcra-carraig's picture

I'm pretty sure a few of my

I'm pretty sure a few of my teachers know. One last year I know always favors gay kids, and she did favor me right off the bat. We (me and two gay alumni) are 98% sure she is gay.
The social sciences teachers are pretty close, and one that I have never had, but is the best friend of one I have had....she acts like she knows.
My flamboyant male coach....shyeah. He's funny. We've had discussions where he gives me *knowing* looks

dykehalo's picture

My english teacher from

My english teacher from grade 10 and 11 both know because in grade 10 i wrote about it in a poem and a whole bunch of other projects (i had just come out to my mom i was extremely proud) and this year the grade 11 one because i did a presentation on queer stuff.
My math teacher from last year (gr 10) definitaly knows. Me n my best friend were both in the same class and my friend is out to everyone and outs me all the time. Well she had mentioned something to the teacher and what not and the teacher always saw us together. And one day it was a snow day and it was just me n her in class and she had asked me something about when me n my best friend met and it kinda sounded like she was asking when we started dating(we never have). And then this year i ran into her in the hall and she's like how are things going with you n H? and stuff like that it was hilarious. She still thinks we're dating.
Alot of other teachers probably know but i've had a lot of teacher's so i dunno.
~~~Fear is only a verb if you let it be.. don't you dare let go of my hand~~~

dykehalo's picture

My english teacher from

My english teacher from grade 10 and 11 both know because in grade 10 i wrote about it in a poem and a whole bunch of other projects (i had just come out to my mom i was extremely proud) and this year the grade 11 one because i did a presentation on queer stuff.
My math teacher from last year (gr 10) definitaly knows. Me n my best friend were both in the same class and my friend is out to everyone and outs me all the time. Well she had mentioned something to the teacher and what not and the teacher always saw us together. And one day it was a snow day and it was just me n her in class and she had asked me something about when me n my best friend met and it kinda sounded like she was asking when we started dating(we never have). And then this year i ran into her in the hall and she's like how are things going with you n H? and stuff like that it was hilarious. She still thinks we're dating.
Alot of other teachers probably know but i've had a lot of teacher's so i dunno.
~~~Fear is only a verb if you let it be.. don't you dare let go of my hand~~~

dykehalo's picture

My english teacher from

My english teacher from grade 10 and 11 both know because in grade 10 i wrote about it in a poem and a whole bunch of other projects (i had just come out to my mom i was extremely proud) and this year the grade 11 one because i did a presentation on queer stuff.
My math teacher from last year (gr 10) definitaly knows. Me n my best friend were both in the same class and my friend is out to everyone and outs me all the time. Well she had mentioned something to the teacher and what not and the teacher always saw us together. And one day it was a snow day and it was just me n her in class and she had asked me something about when me n my best friend met and it kinda sounded like she was asking when we started dating(we never have). And then this year i ran into her in the hall and she's like how are things going with you n H? and stuff like that it was hilarious. She still thinks we're dating.
Alot of other teachers probably know but i've had a lot of teacher's so i dunno.
~~~Fear is only a verb if you let it be.. don't you dare let go of my hand~~~

Catherine's picture

i think one knows

when i'm bored i just write words and connect them, sorta like a crossword puzzle, but slightly more abstract. anyways one day in my anatomy class, we had a free day and i was just writing words and my teacher came by and asked to see it to see if she could find all the words and whatnot. well i forgot that i had put lesbian as one of them and i also had queer and homo. she a lesbian, so i thought it was funny that she found those words first. lol. and my english teacher from last year should suspect cuz we had to do a peotry notebook and i wrote about questioning myself.

gaynow's picture

Heh heh...

I'm so gay in class, I'd be shocked if any teachers didn't know. I mean, maybe not chem because she's so oblivious, but........ I do believe the entire English dept. knows, because I talk about gay conspiracies all the time, write it in essays and stuff, etc. My lab tech, probably my dick math teacher, Spanish teacher, I'd assume my global teacher, my councilor... yeahhh, I'm very gay. ^^

Megan: "Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good."
Graham: "Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good."
-But I'm a Cheerleader

TheInsideLlama's picture

A few former teachers, as

A few former teachers, as well as 1 current and another current as soon as she read my rant *cough* persuasive essay on why gay marriage needs to be legalized

the mouse that roared's picture

It depends on how much I

It depends on how much I talk to my teachers, really. In high school, I came out to my history teacher in a paper on identity, and later in the year we talked a bit about it--his brother's gay. And my English teachers junior and senior years knew--my creative writing was full up with looking for love. When my then-girlfriend came home from college with me, I introduced her to my economics teacher. A few other teachers from high school know or have guessed, I'm sure. If it came up, it came up--once I knew who I was I didn't hide it.

In college--well, my school is practically homonormative. So coming out to professors is a non-issue. My first-year seminar was mostly queer, so when I went to my professor's office hours it was a non-issue to mention. I think she practically assumed. I came out to my Arabic professor in a picture book of my life. My other two teachers last semester--it never came up, so I never told them, but it's not like I dress the femmiest in the world. It's never been a point of stress for me. Not a big one, anyway. My teachers were really supportive.

No one has a right to sit down and feel hopeless; there is too much work to do.--Dorothy Day

electricity's picture

My art teacher knows because

My art teacher knows because I spend all my time in her classroom. We've talked about when I knew and all that. She knows my story. She knows C and that I'm dating her. She loves San Francisco. So there's one. I don't know about the others. I'm sure they can guess.

cynical1inthecorner's picture

Well, I'm not out, so

Well, I'm not out, so obviously none of my teachers know. I do have one gay friend who's very careful about teachers knowing. He doesn't want his sexuality to affect how they view him--or worse, how they grade him.

There are a few teachers who I wouldn't care about coming out to, but there are also some around whom I would be very, very careful. Like all people, some teachers are homophobic. And some teachers are not mature or unbiased enough to not let personal knowledge affect your grades.

So, basically--if you trust them, come out. If you don't, be careful.

whateversexual_llama's picture

I don't think you need to

I don't think you need to "come out" to teachers, in general. Either they know or they don't. They're just teachers. Personal life can stay out of schooling, in my opinion.

Be yourself. 'Cause if you're busy being somebody else, who's gonna be you?

Lol-taire's picture

If you're out in a small/

If you're out in a small/ medium school and your vaguely recognisable and you're out, then the teachers know. And talk about you. Because teachers gossip just like pupils do, simple as.

milee13's picture

My older sister is a high

My older sister is a high school teacher, and while I've never asked her what she would do if a student randomly walked up to her and came out, I'm pretty sure the blurring of teacher/student professional lines would make her feel a bit uncomfortable. I have no doubt she would be supportive, especially if the student were seeking help, but...random pronouncements would most assuredly lead to discomfort.

If you're out on a large scale, as many others have said, it's really not going to be necessary to come out individually to instructors, much like coming out to every single one of your peers isn't necessary. Granted if there's a problem with homophobic comments being made in the class, it could help to inform the teacher that it makes you feel uncomfortable for personal reasons.

I was out on a pretty large scale during my senior year at a medium sized high school and I never found it necessary to have that special talk with any of my teachers; they knew because my classmates knew, they knew because they wrote my college recommendation letters that contained the activities I was involved in (GSA, etc), and they knew because they actually took the time to pay attention to their students and what they were passionate about and brought up during class discussions.

Overall I think it really depends on how comfortable you are with being out in a school environment and how much broadcasting you want to do. I don't think directly informing them is important, but that's just my position.

As for college....my school has been notoriously referred to as a 'dyke factory'. I assume everyone is gay, and if they aren't when they get there they will be by the time they leave. The professors can't help but know.

lost_in_wonderland's picture

as loltaire said, when you

as loltaire said, when you go to a small school pretty much everyone knows. i'm not the type of person who goes around screaming "I'm gay." but my friends make pretty obvious jokes about it, so yeah...

my drama teacher def. knows considering i came out to her...

These gots peanuts and soap in 'um!

wilma wonka's picture

2nd person i was out to was a teacher

The first person I came out to i did through a letter and never really talked to her agian (long story) the second person was my 7th grade english teacher. She was the first one i came out to in person and the first person i really talked about it with. I sat there and cried and talked to her for well over an hour, it was really helpful. I'm also out to my history teacher from last year, the school music teacher, and i think my english teacher from last year knows that i thought something wierd about my gender last year(i didn't tell him but i told him i liked this one book because it talked about gender which is what i was thinking about a lot latly). My values teacher/gym teacher/softball coach will know soon tho because I'm probably going to come out during values because we're having a whole unit on sexual orientation and i can't keep my mounth shut for that long. lol. My latin/history teacher probably knows cuz he seems to know everything, it's a little creepy. I've found being out to teachers really helpful, i don't know how I would have gotten through middle school without it.

"gay: cheerful and lighthearted; merry." - The American Heritage Dictionary.

When I call out Your Name Do you Hear's picture

And so I Say

It's I'm currently only out to one of my teachers & that's my amazing english teacher. Though, I'm sure most of my other teachers know. Like My history teacher, my pretty fresh ex is in my history class & we'd do book work....we'd be cuddly up to each other, without really cuddling....if that is making sense.....but, I didn't officially say anything. And if there's kids at school giving you a rough time, talk to an administrator or something about it.
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so curious: one can resist tears and 'behave' very well in the hardest hours of grief. But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips

simplyme's picture

I've only ever come out to

I've only ever come out to two teachers, my PE teacher (who is also a lesbian and recently had a civil partnership) and my old maths teacher from a couple of years ago. I was going through a particularly bad patch and she asked me if I was okay, if she could help. We have talked a lot since and she has helped immensely but for me it's still a big thing and so be careful with giving an important piece of yourself to someone! I wish it didn't make me feel so attached to her now!

Other teachers I'm close to I may come out to in time but I'm sure they already know, it just needs to come from me eventually.

- Bridge

Adam A's picture

meow

are we talking about academics? they can suck my cock those dirty bitches with giant hairy tits!
ah no i wouldn't bother and i don't think they care.
p.s u'r cute lets make out