I decided to make a drastic splurge and buy myself a LUTS doll. They're these super expensive korean resin ball-joint dolls that are absolutely gorgeous. They're extremely androgynous- it tells you in the title of each model whether it's a boy or girl, which is really helpful because it's often very hard to tell. The clothes don't help, either! For example, the model I ordered is named "Mill."
Here is what he looks like:
LUTS Kid Delf Boy MILL
Can you tell that's a boy? I can't.. I love him! It.. Whatever.
It doesn't matter the gender to me, anyway. I picked it for the shape of the face... Which is sort of how I am with real people.

"Hey, mom, I'm in love! I don't know what gender my lover is; I picked it for the face."

I'm an artist, and the prospect of painting it all myself (which you have to do, unless you get the factory paint option, which very few people do because it's impersonal and lame) and getting really in to the process- making clothes and such- excites me. I also didn't get one ever before, because I had no room for it- now, I've gotten rid of a lot of my old stuff (which cleared my head, too.. I guess.) That means I have room for it.

No regrets, though. You only live the life you're living once. Why waste time worrying about money? And! I want and love the doll!

I think I'm going to take that philosophy more seriously in my life to come. Why waste time worrying? If you want and love it, make it happen! If it ends, that means you can/should find something new to want and love! Ta-daa!