Well, last night I had a chorus concert, and it was really fun, if a bit off-key, and a let-down in terms of quality. It was still really fun. Especially the swing dancing in the aisles of the auditorium to Jazz Band after we'd gone. (Got to watch hot crush dancing like an idiot... but a very sexy idiot. It was fun.) I got a lotta complements on my solo... I was carrying around my bear of honey with me to keep my voice in shape. YAY FOR PERFORMING!
And. Um. I was talking (perhaps gushing a bit) about the hot and utterly awesome transguy in my chorus. Actually, my mom did bring it up. Because he was wearing stubble and makeup. And then we talked about my chorus outfits... and my mom asked me if I was, I believe her words were "gender-confused," because I don't particularly like pretty clothes or skirts. I mean, what the fuck?
So here's the part about the title. I'm sure I've written on her about the 8th grader I like, which I felt really sketchy for, but less so now that I've realized how damn mature she is. I started to like her more and more, and as I started to flirt with her, almost reflexively, I thought she was flirting in return and that she liked me back. Well, we were talking on the subway home the other day, and somehow got onto the subject of her looking like she's flirting with people, and I mentioned that it looked like she was flirting with me. And she said "oh my god... I'm so sorry." So turns out she wasn't flirting with me at all. I really shoulda seen it b/c we hang out with such a touchy-feely group of friends, but... I hoped. Argh. Well, I guess I'll just tell myself to get over her. Damn, I hate when this happens. This is why I don't trust my intuitions.
And I have a birthday party tomorrow and I haven't gotten my friend her present. Or anyone holiday presents. Damn damn damn why am I so disorganized and spastic? Ah well. Happy last day of school before break, everyone.