After Successive Leadership Classes, Therapy, and other gimmicks I am yet to find out what's so not employable about me. I graduated college, with a marginal grade, still from a good college nevertheless. A piece from NPR Bryant Park about undercover reporter, freaks me out not a little, but a lot. The reporter drew a conclusion that joining a particular work force, means joining into a culture. Certain personality traits were actively searched by the enterprises, many of these were common among several organizations and while other is unique to the job and organization. What if I have none of these, What the whole compositions of myself personality, looks and speech can never impress anyone except my parents. Will I actually have to live off the left over from my trust fund for the rest of my life. I hate agencies, because I suspect they haven't invested enough due diligence to process my applications. I am always daunted by application forms. Gap will be an ok place to work, since I spent enough of my youth drooling over their sites and enough of my pocket money to furnish my wardrobe with their goods (of sometimes questionable sources). I can't work for a bank, since I already ruined my credit reports.

A lot times my boyfriend joined me in pondering over if my concerns have been in fact well found. Christmas has been ok, since my family is well off materially, not giving them gifts wasn't a problem. They can afford their WII or laptop on their own. There is no grudges to be had here. It is very least I can do to thank them for kindness, thoughts and prayer to contribute somethings toward Christmas lunch. I came back home with an exactly five pound notes.

I got my holiday, when my dad specifically allowed to do so, I could by the laptop I'm blogging on after I had overdue student loan and other debts paid off. I hate the life I'm living, I am in grad school because I'm bored and have no other choices. I am a 25 year old child, I realize sometimes I speak like a child and got a tantrum with a lot of things. I have dealt with things the only way I knew how to childishly.