12th Night is amazing. I auditioned for my school with Viola's monologue... And Buffy club? Can I join? =P

Be yourself. 'Cause if you're busy being somebody else, who's gonna be you?

"Ooh. And I've been attracted to men. But not really. But I don't know. Boo. I hate how I can't figure out what I want, at all. I can't even figure out if I don't like penis. I mean, I don't want penis. But I can't figure out what my brain is telling me, and just EURGH. Stupid hormones. Stupid world. Imma go be nun now."

^^ so, this paragraph? can i offer some advice? the truth is you'll never "figure out" how you feel about "penis" unless you try it... just like you'll never figure out if you like a certain food or drink or perfume or pair of jeans or car, etc... until you actually try it. I mean, how do you know that you like pussy, if you've never tried it? You don't know. Your hormones and your sexual orientation are completely unrelated. Liking/loving a particular person/gender, and enjoying sex with a particular person/gender, are 2 very different things... sometimes they are intertwined, but not always. e.g. there are girls who like hooking up with other girls, but they don't fall in love with girls or have romantic feelings for them, and they'd never want a GF... it's just a fun, hot, sexual thing for them. Then there are girls (like me) who actually fall in love with certain girls, and get all crazy and emotional and write poetry about them and cry and stuff. There's a difference between love and lust. when you really love someone and care about them, you're not gonna be thinking "OMG i want his cock!" or "OMG i want her pussy!" or "OMG i just wanna fuck this person's brains out and/or have this person fuck my brains out!"... (well u may have those kinda thoughts ocassionally, but they won't be your main motivation for being attracted to that person.) ur attracted to the individual, not their gender/sex. does this person connect with you on many levels, do they respect you, do they listen to you, do they care about your feelings, do you have fun with them, do they make you laugh, do you trust eachother, etc? When you truly have a connection with a person, it's not about pussy or penis. it's about how you feel about the person. you want to pleasure the person, their whole being, their soul... not just their "body parts".
when in doubt, try everything. that's what being an adolescent/teenager is FOR- clumsy, awkward, messy, experimental sexual experiences. some people supress all their urges and don't experiment while they're young, then when they reach adulthood they are kind of degenerates. now is the time when you have the freedom to make mistakes and have random sexcapades and hook up with completely ridiculous people, NOT when you're 40 and married with kids and a full time job and find yourself banging the janitor of your office building in the boiler room. anyway, i've had sexual experiences with boys and with girls... some were amazing, some were crap... but not a single one of them scarred me for life. just do whatever you want, as long as you're not hurting yourself or anyone else, who cares what the fuck other people think? It's YOUR life... just live it.
p.s. altho this was long, i'm not trying to lecture you... i'm just blabbing, i guess ; )