Well I seemingly started off my last journal and left all you terrific peeps hanging!
Sooooo, as we bring back the image of Disney's Lovelyboy, we see a studly brown-haired, blue-eyed teen who's in Rome, who's kissed Disney (in more ways than one, as you will find out!), who's prone to long-distance phone calls that leave me in melt-mode. Oh, and he's absolutely Lovely still.
So long ago (before Halloween), Lovelyboy left me a message on the family answering machine. It was pretty quick, but I heard a fountain behind him and thought it was so adorable that he left a long-distance message for me just to "check in" and hope I have a Happy Halloween! Thankfully, I was the only one to hear the message in the house, and subsequently phoned Lovelyboy up with specifications to go cellular or go home.
Home makes me think of women who have soldiers away at war, which isn't funny, but haha I feel like I could be standing at a dock or over a pier or seaside precipice just looking out with longing eyes, waiting for my Lovelyboy to come home!
The call I made to him to request calls only to my cell was actually a message too, I wanted to laugh then too because I must've called really early/late so of course he didn't pick up!
Normally I'm not one to leave my phone on that much, but since then I've left it on from wake-up to sleep-down and had a scary moment when the battery was almost dead and Lovelyboy hadn't called for the week and I was gobsmacked over my emotional turmoil. Well, not really.
Anyway, we had a lengthier convo a week or two ago and it was after he went to some museums and was having lunch alone (I know!) and this is how it went:
Operator: Do you want to engage in phone sex with your overseas admirer?
Me: If I swear at you, will you reduce the calling charges?
Operator: Please hold. *Background:Mother-fucking mouthy gay guys*
Me: Buenos dias?
Lovelyboy: I'll give you two pesos for that swanky accent!
Me: I could sell my literacy for more than that! (that sounded very clever at the time)
Lovelyboy: Haha, how about your sign language?
Me: I'll stick to Braile, please and thanks!
Lovelyboy: WordswordsTongueclicknoiseWordsTongueClickWords (think movie-done African tribe talk with tongue clicking)
Me: Is that code for hang up on the insane Canadian? I think it is!
Lovelyboy: Haha, and how are you today, honeybunch?
Me: I'm peachy keen, how you doin' sugar dumpling?
Loveleboy: Ok, I have a good response to that with the kitchy Southern-Western thing, but I don't want to say it outloud in the land of Rome.
Me: Aww, sweetcakes!
Lovelyboy: Haha, took the words right out of my mouth!
Me: Oh yeah? (I miss lips on mine like his mmmmm)
Lovelyboy: Pretty much, except cake is pretty passe. (accent on the "e")
Me: You're trying to get me to ask what you're eating, aren't you?
Lovelyboy: Noooooooooooo! (The word cuddle resonates when I replay his cuuuuuute "Noooooooooooo!")
Me: Ok, supersize me!
Lovelyboy: You have to get all dirty when I'm NOT there! (Que drool for my international desires)
Me: So what have you been munching on, sugarpie?
Me: What is this you speak of?
Lovelyboy: I love that video. And Pizza.
Me: Speaking of love, you absolutely hate the pizza and since you're in a loud restaurant you are afraid to say as much, right?
Lovelyboy: That about sums it up! (Our minds meld more everytime, I swear)
Me: Ok, but save the fact that it's a LOUD restaurant (things have been clanking and people talking in anti stage-whispers in the background all the while), what was on this masterpiece of a pie?
Lovelyboy: Well, save for the fact that masterpiece doesn't APPLY, I'd saaaaaay... tomato sauce, cheese, dough and it's components (I grin over this little bit of diction), olives, so-called pepperoni, and some non-drug herbs!
Me: How is it not a masterpiece when it has "non-drug herbs"?!
Lovelyboy: Don't ask me! I'm the innocent Lovelyboy (he used his real name, but the whole phrase sounded LOVELY)!
Me: Innocent, huh? And what is Mr. Innocence having for dessert, if he is?
Lovelyboy: Let's talk in the third-person all the time. Except for just then. Mr. Innocence - that's me! - is going for gelato after!
Me: Excuse me? Isn't gelato a bit passe (accent on the e again)?
Lovelyboy: Oh God, you're right! I'll warn Mr. Innocence immediately! *Fakes calling out to Mr. Innocence ala: "Mr. Innocence, Mr. Innocence come quick!"*
Me: Haha, careful, or they might kick you out of the anti-masterpiece theatre!
Lovelyboy: Oooooh, masterpiece theatre!
Me: Ooooh, pop culture I haven't born witness to!
Lovelyboy: Not even kidding, but I haven't either, but yes! (he sounded a tad like the collapsible me here)
Me: But yes?
Lovelyboy: I just added that because we completely synced there. (Hmmmmmmm, sounds fun)
Me: So we're N*Sync, you think?
Lovelyboy: Nah, we're just Lance Bass and JT. Except I'm JT and you're Lance!
Me: No way! YOU are Lance! (and think of all the dirtiness to be associated there)
Lovelyboy: Ok, but only if I get to write a tell-all book!
Me: Be sure to include the fact that Dumbledore's gay!
Lovelyboy: Oh my God I heard about that! (I really like how he says "Oh my God", even though he's probably identical in lack of belief like me, he doesn't go Omigod! or OH-MY-GOD, it just sounds exactly right for the context)
Me: So they really don't use paper cup telephones over there? (if you don't know what I mean, you lose some Lovely factor [YOU, not Lovelyboy!])
Lovelyboy: Nah, smoke signals are all the rage!
Me: Sooooo, see any interesting sights?
Lovelyboy: Yep, in more ways than one (I drearily imagine the hordes of superfine Roman boys), I nearly got run over by Paparazzi the other day!
Me: Do tell, Ms. Spears!
Lovelyboy: It's Britney Bitch!
Lovelyboy: So I was on my own (again, I know!) and walking through the city (Rome, people, Rome) a bit and it was afternoon -
Me: - and JT popped out of nowhere?
Lovelyboy: Haha, yes, and with Lance along for the ride.
Lovelyboy: Actually it was a pair of Italian supermodel-celebrity people, man and woman, both did look good, and they got into a little black cab and sped off after coming out of some building behind me and the Paparazzi stormed down the street taking pictures and I had to flatten up next to this orange wall that might've been covered in ANYTHING.
Me: Way to go, get deported for catching some wall disease!
Lovelyboy: Haha, I sort of wish! (Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww)
Me (not losing my cool): So what else have you seen aside from crazy photographers?
Lovelyboy: Not boring but not exciting descriptions of things, some are very nicely done and I accuse him of quoting a tour guide, and we have some giggles over that, but then comes the amazingness:
Lovelyboy: And then this lady from Australia said that "this is so Mickey Mouse" and I practically died of laughter, and even her husband looked at her all what-the-fuck! and it was hilarious!
Me: Hahahah, any other Mickey misadventures with her?
Lovelyboy: Haha, not really, she was pretty zany but that reminded me of this time at Disneyworld when I was way younger, and I tried to kiss Mickey and my parents let me since they had no clue about some things, and it's all on video and I watched it a year or two ago and it was pretty interesting to see Minnie and Donald's whatever wife duck lady standing there but I tried to mac with the big male mouse himself! (he was out of the restaurant by this time, btw)
Me: Hahaha, that sounds a bit indicative of the Mr. Innocent you are today! (my mind didn't click on to the stupendous connection between him kissing Disney and my name here being Disney until a while later)
Lovelyboy: Aww, you're making me blush! (Again, cutest voice for my lovely heartstrings)
Me: I was thinking about replacement words for swearwords the other day and wondered if you had any!
Lovelyboy: Haha, was blush one of them?
Me: Way to go Watson!
Lovelyboy: Anything for you, Holmes! (omg and the potential gay story there between Watson and Sherlock hahahaha, well, not too funny, but haha nonetheless)
Me: Well I want nice-sounding words that add a sparkle of laughter to the room.
Lovelyboy: So you want airborne alcohol?
Me: Only if you're here! (I didn't feel stupid about saying that, and this whole convo made me feel really secure with whatever the "us" of the relationship is with Lovelyboy and I)
Lovelyboy: Aww, you're making me bitch! Umm, I mean blush!
Me: Haha, you sure that pizza from before wasn't doused in alcohol itself?
Lovelyboy: Hmm, that might explain the taste!
Lovelyboy: Ugh I just caught a glimpse of the time!
Me (not missing a beat): Don't blame the sundials!
Lovelyboy: I don't think I'd dare, but I actually need to hang up and talk to some strange people soon to figure out where I'm meeting up with the other cool kids.
Me: Why do you use the word "other"?
Lovelyboy: Haha, careful, Mr. Innocence is heading towards blush-mode again! (Que melting)
Me: Haha, wouldn't want that! But ooookay, if you have to go, no problemo!
Lovelyboy: Trust me, I don't want to! Well, I do, but not that much, it would help to know where I'm sleeping tonight though.
Me: Haha, don't let me hold you back then!
Lovelyboy: Oh hey, want me to end this with something creepy or romantic or neither?
Me: Only if I can blush. (The mystics of foreshadowing...)
Lovelyboy: Well, the other night I had a dream about you and it did involve holding!
Me (in a state of delirium): Oh?
Lovelyboy: Ya, and I was holding you and then trying to run somewhere and you held on to me and wouldn't let go, and I turned around and eventually woke up.
Me (interpreting the most sexual thing any boy has meaningfully said to me, ever): Oh?
Lovelyboy: Ugh, I hope that wasn't TOO creepy!
Lovelyboy: I know, I'm insane like that (mind-meld moment again), sorry to make this weird I guess! (note the "I guess" hmmmmm yum)
Lovelyboy: Haha, I'll take that as a good thing? (concern creeping into the voice in evidence makes me want to make out with him now now now)
Me: Haha, it's ok, I'm flattered!
Lovelyboy: Haha, don't be, but I guess I wanted to tell you for whatever reason. (OhmigodOhmigodOhmigod)
Me: Well thanks for letting me know, I appreciate it, and I don't feel weird now or anything, this has been yet another lovely conversation (I didn't even intentionally mean to say the L-word) and I'll let you go so you can find a bed... and have more sweet dreams! (I'm too suave for words, I know)
Lovelyboy: Hahahaha, ok, well I agree with all that, and thanks, take care, thanks for listening to me ramble and everything, I might be coming home for the week of Christmas or New Year's, I don't know, I really might not, but just in case I do, would you want to do something then?
Me (jaw dropping, heart pounding, mouth salivating): YES.
Lovelyboy: Haha (a bit shaky, and breathy), I hope I get to come visit then, I'll get going now, and I might not call for a while, but I'll let you know about December break happening or not, and I'll only call the cell!
Me: Haha, ok, take care of yourself, avoid the pizza Mr. Innocence!
Lovelyboy: Hahaha, I will, don't blush too much without me!
Me: Haha (and I practically want to SCREAM: You're so completely cute!!!!!!!!!!), have a good night, or day, or whatever the sundial says!
Lovelyboy: Hahaha, you too, bye!
A very happy conversation. I don't care about the phone bill. I do have some concern about a parental being notified about the long-distance charges, but when I'm in a more serious mood (they seem to be evaporating on me, Lovelyboy to blame, or not?) I'll think of a feasible lie. I completely want him to come back for Christmas break. For a week or so after that call, I looked up things about flight costs and accommodations in Rome and was seriously considering asking to fly off there for Christmastime, or for a completely random conference that might have some application to me. Oh, Lovelyboy, how you make me swoon.
Nabs my feelings for him decently, again, excuse my pop junkiness. Except it's good. And totally Lovely.
Oh, and the Past Pregnant part refers to something he said in a quick call this week with this pregnant woman who was managing the place the group was staying at, and it was ridiculously funny and I heard him try to take a sip of something and spit it out and choke and it was sooooooooooo funny and I felt like giving him the Heimlich maneuver would be too hot for words and the sensible part of me hopes I don't get too invested in this, especially when so much of it is over the phone. But that's not weird, it's just stereotypes about long-distance relationships that make themselves clearish.
Oh whatever, sorry for being overdue/past pregnant with this, going over some of what he's said to me makes me want to dive into the memory of him kissing me quickly and ooooh the humanity!
P.S. I am losing sleep over replaying our convos and imagining what he's doing in Rome and what we could go do together in December. Ooh Ooh Baby!