I had the worst dream Saturday night it was bad. It was about some lady asking me if I believed in God and that if I did then I shouldn't be dating a girl.Then the lady burst into flames and disappeared. Then it switched to my gf kissing some random chick,then apologizing to me about it...then all of a sudden she disappears! I'm real sure as to what it all meant,but it scared me enough to call my friend Sarah when I woke up this morning.

This afternoon I went to lunch with Sarah and talked about my dream.She thinks that I'm afraid that Jesse will go off and cheat on me,apologize,then go out and cheat again. Sarah also feels that the part about the lady was just me being afraid of judgement.Sarah asked me if I think that me and Jesse will last.

So after talking to Sarah,I called Jesse and told her we needed to talk. Jesse told me to meet her at the art academy. I was so nervous sitting at the piano in the concert hall,with all the empty seats. I told Jesse that no matter what I would never be able to get over her cheating on me last year and that our relationship isn't healthy. Jesse pretty much defended our relationship by saying its as healthy as it can be. I told her she takes me for granted as the one who will take care of everything and gives her all of my attention,while she totally disregards my feelings. So Jesse admitted she does take me for granted and understands my trust issues,but apologizes if she pushes me away;She says she just doesn't want to hurt me. This confirms my doubts!

Our talk was so difficult,I started crying. I told Jesse that as much as I as care about her,no one deserves to be loved one minute then hated the next. Then there was a period of silence where neither of us knew what to say. I stopped crying and said, "I can't fall for you again,it hurts too much. Being with you use to bring me joy,but now all I feel is pain." I pretty much ended the conversation there and walked out not even waiting for Jesse's reaction.

Now its back to being single and having to get over Jesse completely. When in doubt, breakup is my new philosophy!