I think I'm coming out to someone tomorrow...

A friend of mine from high school came over to my dorm to talk this afternoon, and I listened while she talked about a guy friend of hers who she kind of likes, but thinks he might be gay. I tried to give decent advice, and to just be a good listener, but the whole time she was talking I was thinking it would be a good opportunity to fess up. I was nervous, though, because I'm not sure yet whether I'm bisexual or a pure lesbian, and my friend is the kind of person who doesn't usually buy the "I just don't know" excuse, nor does she have a very good opinion of bisexuals ("I try to be open minded, and gay people are fine with me, but I don't understand bisexuals... they should just pick one gender and get it over with"). Her reaction could go a number of different ways.

Obviously I never got around to telling her today - we ran out of time and I started to try, but then realized this isn't the kind of thing to rush, and I just let it go. A few hours later, though, in a burst of bravery, I called her at home, and asked if she could talk, but she was eating dinner and by the time she called me back I'd lost my nerve. She knows I want to talk about something, though (has no idea what, I'm sure), and told me she'd rather talk in person. So we're meeting tomorrow morning and I think I can't weasel out of it. I think I'm going to tell her.

I just hope she reacts well. I can't see her blowing up at me or anything, but it's sure going to change the way she deals with me. She judges quickly. I hope she can override any prejudices she has in favor of being friends with me. I don't think she's really personally known any LGBTQ people (at least, not well), so no one's really broken through her preconcieved stereotypes. And I'm not really the spitting image of a traditional, stereotypical lesbian. Or bisexual... I don't think... what's a stereotypical bisexual look like? Hmm. I just realized I don't know.

Anyway, my point is: I don't know how she's going to react, I hope it will be well, I think the potential is there for an excellent reaction, but it's also a possibility that it won't go so well. If it doesn't, it'll be subtle, but very real. And not cool. But I guess it's just a risk I'm going to take. Unless I chicken out. Please, self, don't chicken out. I think she needs to know. Deserves to, too. She's confided all sorts of stuff to me. I owe her - don't I?

Enough rambling. I'm trying to explain things to myself as much as (or more than) anyone else. And if anyone actually reads this whole thing, then, wow - you must be very bored...