So, I just typed a good entry about all the stuff that happened with my straight crush, and then my wireless connection went out and screwed things up.
Okay, so I'll summarize things. There was that first awkward kiss. But then after that there were 3 makeouts. The first, was a lot of cuddling and kissing. I explained to him that's it's so strange and different to be with a guy. He laid my hand on his face and told me to just feel the difference and adjust. The second time, we were in his roommate's bed. Oops. Nothing big though. Making out, and then he did some touching....of my chest. Yeah. The third time (and last) was more extreme. Making out, and then some other stuff. But, um, well, it's kinda embarrassing. Um, well, I've been briefly inspired by Ruby, so I'm just gonna say it. We dry humped o.O
So, the day after the third makeout he was kinda avoiding me. Me and my friends were out in the lounge all day. He was coming in and out of the lounge. That's kinda unusual for him. Me and my (female) friend were doing our homework. She was doing Trig, and I was doing College Algebra. He was flirting with her. He'd lean over the couch and help her. He'd touch her shoulder. Lean in close. Shit like that. I was sitting there. Five feet away. I asked for help on a problem. He said he didn't know how to do it. Bullshit. He was helping my friend do her complicated math. My math is a lower level. He's helped me before with it.
So, since he decided to basically ignore me all day I got upset. I talked to my SA. Let things out. We decided that I had to talk to the guy. So, I got him to come to my room. He was expecting something, I could tell. I told him things had to end. He just said ok and tried to leave the room. I stopped him. I asked him if he had anything he wanted to say. He said no. I explained to him that all this messing around and then ignoring me was messing with my head. He said he wasn't ignoring me. I told him it was bullshit. I asked him if we're still friends. He said we've always been friends. I hugged him, and then he left.
So, nothing there anymore I guess. I think he might be angry with me? Some of my friends said he looked angry when he left my room. And he's been grumpy lately. All my friends have noticed it. One of my friends (who's very blunt) said it might be blue balls. Haha. A couple of my friends said it might be that he's conflicted with his feelings. He's not really a guy that talks about his emotions, so something like this might be too much for him. So, I dunno. I'm just gonna keep acting my regular, friendly self. Sure, I still like him, but I don't want to hurt myself. If he does later decide he does like me and wants to make something of it, then we'll deal with it. Until then, he's my friend :) It upsets me that he he's been grumpy and not himself lately, and I want to talk to him about it. I dunno, it's hard to get him to talk about things.
We'll see what happens.