When I saw my crush today! Long story short, I was in the classroom before him, I was in such a : senior = cool = focus on the grades = get the perfect classroom seat and forget about who is nearby... and he walked in after a few people and didn't really look around and sat WAY away from me. Meanwhile, I was basically alone at a trio of desks. And I didn't call out to him or anything because I didn't want to appear queer to some straight boys in my grade who had come in before him and were to my largely immediate left.
After less than 2 minutes some semi-randoms sat next to me, I was still in senior = forget about who is nearby mode and still don't care too much about the not amazing, not horrible seat-buddies; but I'm also GLAD that my crush isn't sitting next to me since I'd be soooooo distracted and be afraid to have a runny nose or touch my face or not have stunning posture, ugh.
Well, my heart actually did speed up as soon as I saw him, and it was pumping faster all the while and it was only after a few secs after these people sat next to me that I realized OMG My Heart is Going Faster and it's because I know my crush is here!!!!!!!!!!
Hot damn. I didn't want to call out to him either because the class kept absorbing people, capping off at over 28, which is NUTS not just because of general class sizes, but because it's a final year academic course that those I spoke to didn't expect many people in.
What bothered me the most was my exit strategy, I did ingratiate myself in some convo and pulled off a laugh while walking by him, shot him an eye-glance which he *didn't notice* :( or maybe he stared at my back, I don't know... but I didn't talk to him at all and didn't do the appropriate thing and stalk him to his locker or even next class, if he had/has one!
I'm usually great for ideas on other people connecting with other persons but right now I'm stuck on how to get a conversation going with him as alone as possible, and he's not LATE or EARLY to class so it's unlikely we'd be able to chat away there, and then this goddamn teacher is always in the room for the class ahead of time, so...
I really NEED to ask him if he's gay or what he sees when our eyes connect (I sincerely imagine saying: When our eyes connect, I feel something no other boy makes me feel and that probably sounds so bad, but it is what it is and I wanted to know if you can relate at all) because from today I just know I'll fuck myself trying to impress him (in a class which I'm not strong at) or just get distracted by his heaven-sent appearance. Sans heaven. Maybe I'll ask him if he's an atheist, then try the gay thing. Hahahahaha. If only it were so easy in the crowded room and halls of my school at the time he's there...
Advice? I'm excited that I still like him a lot but the above still applies.