so today was the day that I came out to Mom. let's break this down piece by piece now...
I was getting a haircut today in the city, so Mom walked me over to the train station, because I live in a slightly bad neighborhood and Mommy is afraid I will get mugged. :D
So once the train leaves, I call her downtown and ask her to read an article for me that I've left on my desk for her (article in question is a religious one sent to me by Kailei), and that I would explain later.
Fast forward to about 45 minutes later, on the phone...
Me: So did you read the article?
Mom: We'll talk later.
I knew she would say this, so...
Me: Why can't you talk to me now?
Mom: I said I'll talk to you later.
Me: Just talk to me now!
Mom: ...I always had my suspicions, I thought in the back of my head that you could be, but you have to understand that you're still young, you've never even had a girlfriend--
Me: But I've always known! I've always known I was this way!
Mom: I'll talk to you when you get home.
Me: Whatever. Bye. *click*
So after that I ran about the city, calling John about every 15-20 minutes, contacting all of my friends, thinking of places where I could spend the night...I was very afraid to go home. I had no idea what was going to happen. So I walked a lot. Finally I got on a bus heading towards the other side of town to this meditation center I wanted to visit. And my mother calls....
Mom: What time are you coming home?
Me: I don't know.
Mom: What do you mean you don't know?
Me: I just don't know.
Mom: Well I need to know, because I'm going to church.
Me: I don't feel comfortable going home--
Mom: What do you mean? This is your home! What do you think, I'm going to throw you out?
I didn't say anything.
Mom: Well when you know, tell me.
Me: Bye. *click*
So it's about 2PM. I get off the bus and walk back towards the train station, knowing that now it is okay to go home. I call John :D
So I get home, and I go straight up to my room, put my crap away, and go down to talk to her. She hugs me, but as she's talking, I feel the need to speak out, but I stop myself. I think that I've done some damage and I should leave it be for now.
Mom: I don't want anyone to know about this. Not your father. Not your sister. This is our little secret. I'm going to pray for you, so that God will help you...but if this is how it has to be, then I'll just have to deal with it. ...You're still my son and I love you.
So she loves me...but she's keeping me out of view of my family. Hmph. Whatever.