oh. your. God.
We were this close to kissing. *holds up fingers* This. fucking. close.
She kissed my cheek and laughed about it and then started talking about something else.
I swore mentally. I wanted to kiss her so badly.
We've also been dating for around two months now, and she told me she feels like it's still our first date every time we go out. I dom't know how to take that. She said that she didn't feel a "spark" for me until about two weeks ago when she listened to a CD I made her. I don't know what exactly she means by spark.
She also hasn't defined what our relationship is-- if we're girlfriends, or just dating... and I did everything short of downright asking her today. I will send her a message, I think, and ask her. Because if she isn't feeling it, I can freely persue the unattainable object of my obsession.
But at the same time, I'd really like it if we were to be girlfriends. I just want to cuddle her, damnit. I sent her a vertual stuffed bear because she was feeling a bit down earlier.
And I've been talking more with sie who is unattainable. Sie is far too fucking sweet and caring for my sanity, and it doesn't help that the only friend I talk to about this situation thinks I should go for the unattainable one.
Seriously, I'd be very happy with this girl! I swear! But it seems like she's reluctant to move forward with anything, and I've been trying to encourage it and honestly, she's the one who asked me out...and she's been in more relationships, and knows that I've never been in one.
...and she has a habbit of talking about her ex. A lot. Who she only broke up with because they didn't have enough time together-- seeing each other twice a week. That worries me already, as we live twenty-five minutes apart and neither of us drive and I'm one of those people who doesn't need physical closeness to maintain emotional closeness. So I'm kind of wondering if I'm just walking into something that's doomed from the start.
...I really wanted to fucking kiss her today...