My computer gets heatstroke now. Regularly. Joy.

Kinda depressed at how few comment's my journals get.... :( and yes, this is an actual observation, not just a cheap comment ploy. Although it serves two purposes.

D&D game today that I'm DMing. I really fucked things up. I'm pissed off at myself. I had to pull a DM spacefuck because I tried to fit a horse around a bend in a 5 ft. wide corridor, and have someone riding said horse in a room with a 10 ft. ceiling... arg, an auspicious start to a campaign, huh? The only other time I fucked things up this badly was when I tried to DM something totally made up at my school, and the players were trying to figure out of the person they were talking to was the actual mayor, and it was a doppleganger. They asked him a question like, "what is your mother's maiden name?" and I said, "the doppleganger answers-- oh crap." Yeahhhh. Gome! ^^;; So, major DM fuckup. People got pissed. Hope it doesn't happen again. Damnit.

Zach brought me back home, hung out here for a while. Argh, I'm gonna miss him sosososososo much when he graduates at the end of this year!!!!! I don't know how I'll survive my junior year without Zach and the rest of the juniors. =( and we also started talking about...... sophmore and junior and senior years, and courses, and APs, and service credit, aaaaand.... COLLEGE!!!! Motherfuck. I'm so scared. It's not like I'm a bad student or anything, I'm not, I'm actually really good, but... I'm still scared. Plus, what I want to do in life is writing and/or music, and I don't know if I'm good enough to have any sort of success at all in those fields... the future is scary. Argh.

And since I'll be in a tech position of power soon, I won't be able to be in shows. And I'd love to be in REP. So I'll try out this year, I guess..... but I don't even know if I'll make it, and.... blargh. It's sort of depressing to realize that I'm probably a better techie than I am performer. It's really sad, since I've pretty much always seen myself as a performer. Argharghargh.

I've had major writers' block lately. I don't know where my story's going. It's SO amature. I have all these random-ass plot devices that don't get any exposition or background or anything. And when I try to go back and explain/justify one.... yaaaay, I get totally stuck! Even more stuck than I was before, which is a fucking huge feat. Damnit. And I can barely talk to anyone on the phone, which is what I do when I'm down from life. I wish my friends were in town. Okay, I wish B was in town. I miss her. I hope we see each other more next year.

Ooh, and one more thing! I was just recording my version of one of Utter_Insanity's songs ^^ some of my music really bugs me, but I can't think of anything better to do with it... but a lot of it, I'm really happy with. (Of course, the recording would go a lot easier if I had someone who could scream on cue, sopranos, and men.... damn my tiny range ruined by years of untrained belting...) Question: what's more offensive, calling gays "child rapists" or "ass-rapists?" (Yes, strange question... ^^) Imma sleep now so be up for camp so be disappointed by how bad this year is going. 'Tever. Cheers!