I hated when my breasts started growing. I remember when my mom took me to a store to buy girly clothes that would cling close to show my new femme-ness. I remember how weird and uncomfortable I felt. That feeling wore off after I had convinced my mom to let me wear boy shirts. Their looseness hid my breasts and I felt so much better. Then I had my awkward year in high school (come on, we all have them). I wore girly clothes (nothing with clevage) and even got a boyfriend. It made my mom so happy, but I hated the way everyone at school treated me. Sure, the girls started talking to me, but the boys treated me like a tramp. They made dirty jokes about me (even though I did nothing with boys). One boy called me a "walking vagina". Ugh. I was really naive and didn't know about the perverted things boys do, so now looking back I feel stupid. I say this because one boy told me to close my eyes. I did. He stuck a big round sucker into my mouth and him and his friends started laughing. Looking back I realize what was so funny. Ergh. Stupid ass boys. Stupid ass me.

Now I wear what I want. I buy the clothes that make me happy and make me comfortable, which usually are boys shirts with girls jeans. We went shopping last week, and my mom didn't even protest to the clothes I bought. I'm so happy. But, now it's to the point of the entry. Why do I bind? I don't do it all the time, but I really like to. I got a sports bra that has the effect that is close to what I look like when I bind.

But my friends found out that I bind, and one of them (a boy) keeps asking me why I do it. He thinks it's because I want to be a boy, but it's not really that reason. I don't really know how to explain it to him to get him to undersand. He's kinda difficult. You see, he doesn't really understand transgenders. While I'm not transgender, I think that his misunderstanding of transgender is leading him to misundersatnd me.

I know that I'm the only one that could explain to him the way I feel, but maybe you guys could help? I dunno.