must say this now or certainly will burst and it will come pouring out my ears and nostrils and belly button at random people in real life.
i am best friends with a very cute blue eyed boy who all girls barring myself absolutely melt over. today he introduced me to a girl. she was not a girl, actually. she was probably more like half girl – half goddess. they swung over to my place on their way to grab lunch and from what i can tell, they’re going to start dating or something.
this is not good. i mean, i’m glad he’s found someone so amazing to spend his time with, but if he brings her around me again i’m going to fall so hard for her that i might as well tear my heart out now, shred it up, and get it over with.
how can i put it? i just know. she’s the sort of wonderful girl you're idealistic enough to believe exists somewhere but are too cynical to think she’d enter your life somehow. and frankly, i don’t want her in my life. he seems already very fond of her and i’m sure it can only mean that he’ll want the three of us to spend time together as he's done with all the girls he's seriously dated. and i have a feeling she’ll stick around for awhile because when i see him look at her i can see in his eyes what i’m secretly shoving to the back of my mind. love, love, love. or sugar coated lust or something. but it doesn't hit a wall at the physical; there's something emanating from her core, and it suffocates me.
her name is Reagan.
i want to die a little bit.