So there's this situation and it's strange and aweful and not really all that strange. Because I'm dating a girl that I'm beginning to really care for (I can admit that this was not the case in the beginning), however before I'd even spoken to said girl I was utterly and ridiculously infatuated with another individua. ...*utterly*. This second person is also completely unattainable for me, and therefore, I've rationalized in my own head that I may as well take the pleasure I get from hir company, as long as I don't vocalize it to anyone. I find this easier to rationalize as I'm not leading the girl on, I've truly started to develop feelings for her, though she's described her feelings for me as a calm fondness, not so much the joyful, shouting from the rooftops sort. This actually seems to describe my feelings for her as well, "a calm fondness", I mean. While the unattainable person creates the giggley insane feelings. But as I said, unattainable. And I honestly believe that once one has matured (generally *after* highschool), it's quite possible to carry on more than one relationship with the full knowledge and acceptance of the people involved. Thus, it's also possible to have feelings for more than one person and not have those feelings cheapened just because they are directed at more than one individual.
This really gets cemented for me every time I see my friends who are in just such an arrangement, and seeing how well it works and how deep the love is. ...I had coffee with my friend and one of her boyfriends tonight (I also consider the boyfriend a friend, but the sentence worked better that way). He bought me chai and made the funniest comments ever, as a side note. She has good taste.
I've had contact with both objects of my affections within the last couple of days. I am very content. As I said, I'm not even sure how well I'll handle one relationship, at the moment, but I believe that in the future I'd be very comfortable with having more than one partner, or with my s.o having more than one.
...and I was talking on the phone with a friend that bounces back and forth between straight and asexual, and I told her all this. Her response?
"So, you're gonna be bisexual *and* polyamorous?"
Me: "...shut up, I *know* I'm a fucking cliche."
She then laughed at me. 'cause I'm Goth and geeky, too. Therefore... yes. *holds up banner of cliches*
In other news, I was out with my non-biological grandmother in the mid-sized town where she lives, and we were having lunch. Our waitor? Was gay. I heard him introducing his boyfriend to his aunt. I was wearing my Pride wristband. He spent time at our table chatting, making completely random conversation. He was super nice to both of us. I left him a damn big tip. ...in my head, it translated to "I'm queer!" "Hey, me too!". Of course, he could have just been a very nice man. But still.
The only other thing I've noticed is that in my entries on oasis I seem insufferably arogant in the way I write. My eyes bled, and then I went and hid under my desk. Because....I'm not. I also can't spell. :)