...from love. <3
i've been thinking a lot. maybe it's because i'm stuck.
stuck between a rock and a hard place. do i stay or do i go?
i feel like i'm in too deep that i can't just leave.
but i also feel that if i stay any longer the hurt will be much worse.
why did he have to like me? why did i have to get to know him?
why am i too damn nice?
i was better off by myself and having nothing to worry about.
well...nothing serious to worry about like, breaking someone's heart.
all i do is vent, rant, and complain. its like i have nothing better to do.
i don't feel the same anymore. my defenses are falling.
every damn second i feel like i'm failing and i'm getting weaker and weaker.
my mind...my heart. the confusion, the lies, the frustration.
i don't think i can handle this anymore.
i wanted to see where this could go and that maybe something good could out of it. but i can't commit.
commitment wasn't my issue before. maybe its because this time it's different. a guy not a girl. with girls there is the emotional and physical bonds, but with a guy there is only half the emotional and physical bonds. maybe this is the hint. the answer to my question.
the hurt and the pain. the obstacles. i don't want to hurt him. yeah i love him. but i realized that the love seems to be more in friendship and not in relationship. i feel that we were made to be friends more than soul mates.
is this even making sense? i hope so. i just hope that everything is going to be alright. ....or do i need help?