These past few days, I've pretty much been sitting on my ass watching Buffy or the L Word or reading and feeling like shit. I have no desire to do anything. I need to start working out again. I just sit and eat and I know that I need to kick myself in the butt, but I can't. I'm going to the pride parade for the first time EVER tomorrow and I can't even get excited about it.
I did, however, go to a queer youth open mic yesterday with my "gay boyfriend." Barely anyone showed up. Only three other kids read their poetry. But I loved the bookstore and the people who worked there...and I bought a bumper sticker that says, "Sorry I missed church: I was busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian." Hehehe.
But seriously. This bookstore was heaven. I saw Sister Spit perform there in April. They have all my favorite books and play all my favorite music (last night they played Ani's Little Plastic Castle album) and they even have a giant cardboard cutout of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I'm serious. I took sexy pictures with it. :)
So when I actually go out and make myself do something, I have fun. But right now I have no motivation. I feel like crap, and I know that calling up some friends will make me feel better, but it's like I don't want to feel better. I want to wallow.
I make no sense whatsoever.