so... less than a week of high school left... thank god... i don't know how much more of it i could have taken....

update... i am still head over heels for brooke unfortunately.... god damn... i just wish i could find a girl who wasn't such a fucking closet case... i honestly don't think she will ever come around and even if she did... let's not forget....

she's definitely in love with alyssa... our best friend (straight... most definitely).... it's a downer to see that she's so into alyssa when 1.) she won't admit it and 2.) alyssa doesn't want a relationship with her at all.... ugh...

and on top of that lovely little situation alyssa is now dating her friend who's a total babe (yes, that's right a complete dyke just called this guy a babe)... he's so damn good to her.... and so nice... anyway, they are officially dating as of tonight and she's happy, he's happy until about 15 minutes ago when alyssa got a call from him asking her to come pick him up... he's been kicked out of the house he's sharing with a couple guys... i have no clue what he did.... weird... i guess i'll figure it out in the morning...

now brooke is a totally chill person.... but she is going to feel so replaced by this kid... she is going to flip a bitch... trust me... i know this girl... she will react fine in the short run but be absolutely heartbroken in the end.... completely furious... she's gone a few months here without cutting but this is the kind of thing that could really get her going again... fuck...

and then there's my mom... who doesn't like brooke for whatever reason to begin with... and now, god damn.... i just don't get her.... background: my mom was sexually abused growing up, beat the shit out of, and she had a really bad case of anorexia and cut to deal with her problems.... and brooke is constantly beat the shit out of, she cuts (and lately i'm getting some suicidal vibes out of her), she has a really weird relationship with food, and as far as alyssa and i can tell was sexually messed with as well... and my mom doesn't feel any want or need as far as i can tell to help her....if my mom was some really cold woman with no maternal instincts maybe i could understand but she's usually very warm and inviting with my friends..... we are in the car today and my mom called her a "Slicer".... i almost lost it with her... really mom? i don't understand her vendetta against this girl... does it bring back too much of her childhood shit? i don't get it....