Oh my God.

Jamie just told me over msn she has been seeing a girl on and off for two years. Yes, Jamie.. you know the old best mate that I kinda used to sorta have a thing for. The one that I always thought was just open minded.. oh man. She was the second person I came out to through that letter over a year ago and I was freaking because I didn't know how she would react. (yeah it's all journalised if you can be bothered reading back) But wow I did not see this one coming at all! It makes me happy though.. for her and her girlfriend. I'm kinda just wow right now.. it all makes sense now. Her queer as folk and l word obsession.. how she went to the queer film festival more than I did. Holy.

I used to have my suspicions.. but only because I thought I was delusional from the crush I had on her. Now it makes me wonder what if you know.. what if she had felt the same way about me five years back. It's possible. Stupid to think about now.. but you know, this has kinda got me thinking. Not that I would be like 'oh hey I had the major hots for you when we were 15.' And hoping the answer would be 'same here'. Shit, no that would be way weird. Arr it makes me think back about every time we had a "moment", it wasn't just my imagination. Nah this is gonna drive me nuts now.. all I can do now is be happy for her. We're going to catch up though because I whined to her about my lack of queer peers. Just when I thought I was getting over our friendship and moving on.. it's funny how something like this can change things.