Well... My first day of this online journal... I haven't kept one of these things in forever...

So...

Days are going by rather so quickly, as graduation is coming around the corner. I wish it wasn't sometimes though...
I mean..
I'm ready to leave the house as it is, I can't stand it here, as most kids probably are feeling...

But sometimes I feel, like I won't survive. Like I'll be torn apart on that first day, shredded completely, from inside out.

I guess that's just me being too much of a worry-body again.
Just nervous, that's all I am.
I hope.

But I'm ready to move on with my life, start anew with my girlfriend.
Yet, I don't think I want to start a life with her... Like, I care for her, love her, yes, but sometimes I feel it's not that deep kind of love feeling, where I can imagine myself starting a family with her, growing old together... I don't know... And lately I feel that maybe she's just ... out of it... not completely there for me...

They say the small things matter, and well, I kind of notice, she's more concentrated on herself and her life rather than ours...
I understand that we both should have space to be on our own, and we both require our own freedom to move on with our own dreams, goals, life, etc.

Yet... these little things tend to hint at that she doesn't care about "us" anymore.

I don't know. I guess I should break up with her, I'm worried that I'll end up hurting her in the future, and I don't want to go on if I don't feel so strongly about her anymore...
And I know she'll be fine in getting over it, she'll find someone within a day or so.

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