A first step to getting over her? I hope...
So, remember my best friend who I've been crushing on for just about ever, and who likes me back but currently has a boyfriend and is just randomly touchy-feely and flirty? It sort of feels like she's keeping me as a spare, and being sort of manipulative and stuff...... well, I asked her to tone down the blatant flirting-with-me. And she was really good about it. It's not like she's stopped hugging me or anything (which is good), just stopped randomly kissing me on the cheek, etc. And maybe I can get over her now. It was fucking hard to ask her to stop because I enjoy the flirting so damn much, but........ I really should get over her. Because nothing'll happen between us, and I just keep liking her and keep wishing and keep being disappointed. And I don't want something to happen b/c it'd fuck up our friendship, I don't want a relationship right now and am scared as fuck of them, and she's just not the greatest person to be in a relationship with. So... I feel sad to lose the flirting, but proud of myself, and pretty hopeful. Gome. (That is, go me.)
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Comments
Hmm...
As you move ahead in life, I think you're going to find that you have to change your reactions to things, not the things that cause you to react.
If you have a problem with her flirting, that is something that needs to be addressed in you, not through stopping her. Because you're not changing yourself. And, at some point, you will not have the control to change other people/things that affect you.
Also, some of the language to watch: "feels like she's keeping me as a spare," "being sort of manipulative," etc. Again, it's nice to get to create your own story, but when did you become the unwilling victim here? These are all feelings you created and keep about her, but then turn it around to be about her doing this stuff specifically to affect you. Then after all this, you slag her off as someone you wouldn't want anyway? So, if someone you wouldn't want anyway flirts with you... why would that matter? Lots of conflict in here.
So, right goal, but not sure it's the right steps to get there.
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"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." -- Josh Billings.
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Yeah it's hard dealing with
Yeah it's hard dealing with flirting, but if you can disconnect feelings you have for her internally, the external connection won't so much matter. Easier said than done though, and I think it would be easier if the affectionate was stopped or lightened up.
I wish you luck. Crushes are a bitch.