i posted this as a journal entry at first...but didnt get much of a response so i thought id try here too:

I had this really complicated friendship with a girl that lasted about 3 years on and off, we would fight alot , there was lots of sexual tension etc altho nothing physical ever happened. Then finally about a year and a half ago we had an argument where it got very ugly, and we haven't spoken since. I emailed her after the argument explaining myself and apologising (since she wudnt see me or pick up the phone) and then a few months afterwards as well to see if anything had changed, and asked if i had damaged things between us irreparably. Her reply to that was that she didnt know if she could or wanted to forgive me, and that i should just leave her alone.

So i left her be, then a couple of months ago, i bumped into her at the theatre, 2 times within about a 3 week period. We talked for about 15 mins, it was awkward small talk but she seemed kinda positive u know asking me questions about what was going on with me and smiling. So afterwards i emailed her again asking if she wanted to or was ready to talk about things or to talk in general and that i wanted to, but i got no reply. I thought perhaps she hadnt got it , so i sent another one, and this time i was like "let me kno if u get this, even if just to say u arent bothered abt this anymore". Still no reply. So about a couple of weeks later i call her up kinda late, like 1.30am, and im like hi its me, and shes just like "im about to sleep i cant talk right now" so im like "ok so, can i call you tommorow?" and shes just like "well im working tommorow, anyway bye" and then hangs up. I figured she didnt want to talk so i didnt call back coz i didnt want to push things...then a couple of weeks later my friend tells me shes in india for a couple of months now so i email again saying u know sorry for the somewhat weird call a while ago and tell her to take care etc. No reply to that either. Also i know shes been getting my emails bc of a good friend of mine is somewhat friends with a couple of her friends and he heard them mentioning that the girl in question had mentioned me getting in touch with her.

But yeah after all that, i still dont have an answer. She still hasnt said like get lost, but then again, shes not replying either.....is that her way of saying leave me alone? or is completely not replying a sign of being unsure? And should i wait for her to contact me, or should i contact her when she gets back in a couple of weeks from India?