I Came Out To My Mom!!!!!!

28 April, 2007 - 6:08am — Toph

OMG!!! I set the DVR to record the 20/20 special on trans teens and my mom found it. Here's how it went"

Mom: "What? Why's it recording 20/20?"
Me: "I put that mom"
Mom: *pushes info and reads it's about children living as the opposite sex* "What?" *looks at me strangely*
Me: Mom, I'm not trans *laughs at the irony of me wearing a boy shirt and shoes on a daily basis, which includes today*
Mom: "So, what, are you gay?"
Me: *smiles* "Yeah"
Mom: "WHAT?"
Me: "Yeah, I'm gay mum"
Mom: "Oh, I honestly don't believe that, you're just confused"
Me:*quiet and hurt*

We watched some of 20/20 together. It was a very emotional one. But, I think I heard my mom crying/sniffling. What I don't know if it was about me or the 20/20, or both? I dunno. But she says she HONESTLY doesn't believe me.

Oh gosh, just right now she came down. She kissed me on the forehead and told me, "My poor confused daughter". What's wrong with me?! Am I really confused? Am I really not gay? People say that others know more about you than you know of yourself, so can she be right? I really do believe I'm gay, but what if they are right?

I want to cry. I'm so confused. So lost :(

UPDATE: My younger brother that i told yesterday came and asked me if I was being serious. I said yes. He says he thinks I'm confused, and that this isn't a funny joke. What's wrong with me?!

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Comments

28 April, 2007 - 7:28am — ejgarfunkel

Yay.

Congrats! I'm not out in the least, so I can't reliably offer any condolences on how it'll all be fine and there's nothing to worry about, at least not from experience. But after hearing the stories of all my gay friends and acquaintances, I'm confident that it'll work out for the best. So congratulations (again) and hopefully your mom and brother will come around soon. And now I'm off to finish watching that same 20/20 :]

28 April, 2007 - 7:17am — milee13

People do often say that

People do often say that others know more about you than you know about yourself... but I like to believe that primarily applies to things like having your fly down and if you accidently spill something on your clothes-not to things like sexual orientation.

You're getting ready to go off to college and whatnot...I doubt that you're all that confused, and you shouldn't let that statement get to you. It's her way of coping, and better she cope with a few tears and that poor choice of words, than with a screaming match and wanting to put you in therapy.

Nothing is wrong with you, don't let their doubts cast confusion on your self knowledge, just give them time, because eventually they will get it even if they have to spend some time in that place where they aren't sure to believe you.

I think you handled the situation amazingly well and with a great deal of composure and maturity.

28 April, 2007 - 4:39pm — Lol-taire

well done

If your mother is anything like mine mostly she just wants it to be a phase.

Like how much does your mum actually know about being gay that she hasn't learnt of TV?

She just wants what's best for you. She'll come around and so will your brother (who's probably just taking his lead from your mum anyway). It's upsetting and disappointing for a parent to find out that the future they had imagined for you won't happen and that life will be a bit harder for you in some ways. So it's natural that they won't accept that your life will have to be like that. But it also takes a while for them to work out that you'll still be happy and can still have significant relationships.

You've already done the working out and reconciling bit (you've probably been doing it for years and Oasis is full of people in the process of it). Your mum has had a few hours to undergo a similar process for one of the most important people in her life. No wonder she's still stuck in 'confused'.

And if they are right and you are just 'confused' what have you lost?