So it's the middle of April, college-decision-making time for seniors like me. Except that most seniors are not juggling gender identity, seven or eight academic and extracurricular interests, and gap year questions all at once in a college decision.
So here's the dilemma: I'm questioning my gender a fair bit. I'm not really sure if it's just a factor or not fitting in in high school or what. I may be a woman--an unconventional one. I may not be. I really don't know. I don't care so much about clothes and fashion or even gender roles. I feel like everyone can just be themselves, and that's fine. Most of my friends are not stereotypical embodiments of their genders. But I don't know how I feel about people's perceptions of me as a female and of my biological state of femaleness.
But I've gotten into three all-girls schools and four co-ed ones. My instincts draw me to Smith--it's the one school I feel I'd regret going to, and I feel like I'd be supported at and comfortable. But they don't have gender identity in their non-discrimination policy, and though there is a trans group on campus, it sounds like the college sometimes kicks students out if they want to transition.
So... ahh! What do I do? I have no idea where I want to go, and I'd like to follow my instincts, but what happens if I turn out not to be female? Maybe a freshman year at Smith would help me figure the whole thing out. If I need to transfer after that, maybe that would work. But maybe I need to suck it up, go to a school that feels a bit less like home, and not take any gender identity risks.