I'm different and I'm happy
So I have much to prove.
I have to show I'm worthy of love...
Worthy of care... admiration..
I have to prove that I deserve
everything that "they" deserve.
I have to be more than "the gay kid".
I have to be more than a student,
a son, a friend...
Just so I can stay where I am.
My heart's conflicted, because inside
I know that I shouldn't have to prove anything.
But I do.
But I have to earn approval.
I have to earn approval
that my brothers didn't
because they like girls.
Justice. Fairness. It doesn't matter.
To be happy and gay,
no pun intended,
is seen as an oxymoron.
I'm supposed to live an unhappy life,
A promiscuous life,
A life of pain and disease,
A life of loss without love.
I'm told that I'm not allowed to love God.
Sometimes, I believe "them".
Not because God isn't there...
but because "they" don't let me see