Okay, I'm just going to say this now. I am in no way trying to offend anyone by writing this. I just need an output for my thoughts... If you're uncomfortable with my atheist ramblings then don't read okay? I don't have anything wrong with religion, I just don't understand it is all.. And remember that I love you all. <3

Okay, so we went to this atheist meeting today, the people there were cool. But I'm sort of confused...

People seem to think that god creates things like storms, but I don't get that. Storms happen because of temperature and air flow, and that sort of thing. It's science, and it's not complicated either. And I just don't understand why anyone would think that "god" caused it when it was just something that happened because the planet works the way it does.

I guess you could say that "god" caused the weather to be the way it did in the first place. But that doesn't make sense to me either... I just don't get it..

And then there's the whole creationist thing... And humans being "perfect" intelligent design.. That I really don't get.

Humans only view themselves as perfect because they are humans. Because seriously, tail bone? useless. Your nose is placed right above your mouth, so when your nose runs to try to get things out of your body, it leaks towards your mouth. And what's with the reproductive organs so near the waste outlet? Some sort of sick joke?

And there's a lot of other stuff too. When you think about it, humans are very poorly "designed". People just think it's a good design because they're attracted to that. They socialize and see other humans all of the time.

I don't want to be religious. But it'd be nice to understand. I just don't get it, science makes sense. It makes huge amounts of sense. And religion is like some fantasy story book to me... So why would people rather believe the fantasy story book than the things that make sense? Because it sounds pretty? Because they don't want to face the fact that death means the end? Because they don't want to face that they don't have a purpose? I find that very comforting actually, (Not having a purpose, that is.) Not in some "Oh I'm so emo" sort of way. But it's comforting. I look at the stars and that's what I see, I see things bigger than I can imagine so far away that they're just tiny little dots. And then I see black, which is even more distant, because I know out in that black there are more stars, but they're so far away that I can't even see the tiny dots. It's amazing.

And at the same time, it's all in my head, because that's how I perceive things, messages get sent from my senses to my brain, and my brain sends messages to my body to tell it what to do about it. And that's it, that's my entire life right there. You can't prove to me that you exist. Or that if we listen to the same song we hear the same thing, or if we look at the same picture, we see the same thing. We just react to things in a similar way because that's how we were brought up.

Which brings me onto synesthesia, something I love blabbing about. (No more atheist rambling now.)

It's this condition. (not a disorder.) where senses are sort of jumbled up or something. I have it, and it's natural to me, so I can't imagine life without it. People get excited over it, and make crazy movies or get jealous. But if you actually live with it, every day. It's just like seeing things or touching things. It'd be overwhelming if you suddenly were able to see for the first time in your life. But if you've been able to see then it's nothing special, weather you take it for granted or not you're used to it. Syenesthesia is like that.

Well, when I say senses mix, I mean stuff like, I hear sounds, but I also see them, inside my head. (Some people see them outside, but I don't.) When I touch something. I see the feeling and it's colors in my head where it happens along with feel it. Like if I get poked in the back, I'll see it there, not like turning my head and looking in a mirror, I just 'know' the colors there.

And I also hear movement. A flash is a very high-pitched sound. And if I were to watch something like, a car go by on a video with the sound turned off, I'd hear something. But it wouldn't be a "vroom".. It'd be a.. Something. Sort of sounds that I've never actually heard in real life.

And every single concept in my head has a color and texture of some sort. And they sort of drift around (in exactly the same way that bricks don't.) inside my head. Like ghosts. Which is probably why I'm always mixing up seemingly unrelated things.

Hmmm... Riku doesn't like it when people are jealous of her, it makes her feel uncomfortable. But people always seem to be jealous of Riku. And Riku doesn't understand why. They get jealous because Riku can draw, they get jealous because Riku is skinny. Even though Riku doesn't know why she's so skinny. They get jealous because Riku has synesthiesia but Riku doesn't understand that much either. People get jealous because Riku is a lot of things that they're not. Because Riku is really different, but all Riku did was let her mind free like a bird and follow her heart.

Maybe people trap their brains in little boxes because school teaches them that everyone should think and work the same way. And they get stuck in the box and can't find their way out. Riku thinks that's a real shame... And doesn't understand how people can stand to be in these boxes. But maybe the boxes have a TV and a bag of chips and a comfy chair, so they get cozy in their boxes and don't leave.

People say that people should think "outside the box" but Riku's mind lives outside the box. And doesn't understand people who close up their minds and sit in their dark box with a comfy chair and a bag of chips and loose themselves. And when they see Riku and her dancing mind, they think it's weird that I don't have a comfy chair and a bag of chips and they label me and try to fit me into another box, but Riku wants to be free.

And again. I'm hugely sorry if I offended anyone. I don't mean to. (But I'm always accidentally offending people with stuff like this D: ) I'm just writing my thoughts down because I want to put them somewhere. If I don't write out these sort of things my mind gets crowded and I get a headache. Kudos if you actually read all of that. More if you actually understood it all too. Riku's ramblings tend to not make much sense.

Love you all,
~Riku <3