Long Time, No Journal

maianess's picture

Yeah, it's been a while since I actually journal'd. But, hey, not-doing-homework is not-doing-homework.

So, homophobe-boy in my class, J... I can't tell if he's actually a homophobe or just a dumbass who uses "gay"/"faggot" really insensitively. But, as easy as it is to hate him, it's probably just the second one, and I probably shouldn't hate him. My friend talked to him the other day, because he was, like, in the lab... doing science... which is weird, because he seems like this totally uninterested preppy pretty boy. But, yeah, she asked him what this grudge he had against me was, and he was like, "I don't have a grudge against her." So... yeah. I guess I shouldn't hate him. Even though I think I'm still allowed to not like him very much if he's insensitive and annoying and a smart-ass. Meh. Ooh, and so my friend mentioned to him that I was writing a requiem mass... and today before school, he came up to me and was like, "you're writing a mass? cool!" It was strange... xD And got me to wondering, for no reason in particular, what I'd do if someone asked me out. I seriously don't know. Argh. And I was in the subway with bi-friend (who identifies as bicurious instead now, apparently), and we were all touchy and hey, we're pretending to be together to make homophobes uncomfortable... and it nice. Really nice. And I'm... very not-over-her. Gah. And she said, "when I'm with you, I want to kiss you." And I... aaah. I don't know. I mean, currently, she has a boyfriend. But if she didn't..... I don't know if I could go out with her, even though part of me really wants to, because of what it'd do to our friendship, and my inexperienced-ness and stuff, and just......... argh. Because I know all this in my head, but if she started anything, I don't trust myself to be able to say no. Augh!!!

On another note, I officially love Firefox b/c I accidentally closed the window I was composing this in, and I was able to get it back with the 'recently closed tabs' thing. Google and Firefox are going to get together and have wonderful tech-y babies and take over the world together (aah, how romantic...) and I'm making myself some D&D characters, so yay. And, for some strange reason, I found myself playing Super Kid last night (blast from the past, huh?) as well as getting re-addicted to KOTOR. The consequence of all this is that I'm starting homework waaaaaaaay later than I should. I don't know what the fuck prevents me from getting to bed at a decent hour... it's ridiculous! Anyway, yeah, I probably have more to bitch about, but that shall come at a later date. Until then, ciao!

//EDIT// And I forgot to mention how I've been watching this WAY too much lately: http://www.abc.net.au/children/bananas/games/sing/default2.htm