how does you family act.. even if you know your gay to some point?
the other day it was just a normal conversation and ended up relatively normaly..
it started like this
mum- i hate that gay dude out of queer eye
me- they're ALL gay mum
mum- its a pathetic show
me- you just don't like it cause its got gays in it.
mum- dont talk to me like that young lady
me- im just stating the truth
me- admit it, its the onlyreason.
mum- yes it is okay. happy?
me- why would you hate sometihng because it involves gays? *evil eyes*
mum- Don't question me missy.
me- just answer.
mum- bcause its incorrect okay, and its just wrong.
me- your wrong..
i walk off balcony inside, slam door, thump down the stais, hit the hall walls as loud as possible, walk into my room, slam the door shut, open door, slam it 3 more times. Then oncomes my music really loud.
typical conversation in my life.
I love the discription of the slamming doors and such.
~~~NO DAY BUT TODAY~~~
Your mom will either come around, or live a very unhappy life.
The good news is that there are plenty of other moms/aunts/uncles out there that would love to fill in the gap. My own mom has become surrogate aunt for lots of gay teens whose parents are less than accepting, and I know other surrogate aunts that have offered to be there for me (this was before I came out).
I decided to take a peek in the closet.
What a suprise to find myself hiding inside!
My mom...well, some of her best friends are lesbos, or at least bi's, and if her friends aren't, they're all usually really liberal and accepting of gays. as for me mum, well, personally, I think she is gay and just trapped in the closet...but she is cool w/ gay ppl. As for my dad, If he ever found out I was gay, well, I probably wouldn't be alive still. he hates gays...and so do I. I grew up w/ him telling me all this shit about gays and how homosexuals or hobosexuals as he calls them, were nothing but perverse, and wrong. His views on it do vary though, depending on if he is going through one of his psycho christian periods that he goes through. Basically, my father has told me he'd rather I be dead than gay.
Mental wounds not healing, driving me insane, i'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train- the ozzman
My parents never really mentioned a thing on homosexuality. It's like completely ignored in Asian culture. I don't even live with them anyway, so whatever. Our typical phone conversations goes like this -
Mum: "You haven't called in ages"
Me: "Yeah I know, I've been really busy with everything (which is true)"
Mum: "Oh... well anything new lately?"
Me: "Nah... not really"
Mum: "Oh okay, well I won't bother you with your work then"
Me: "Oh okay"
I know sometimes it's a bit sad how it ended up like that, but I'm used to it. I've never really had a bond with my parents, I could never talk about anything in my heart or on my mind. They force the asian parentness on me all the time. My dad gets pissed everytime I say something he doesn't want to hear, and my mum is just way too fake (but I can't blame her because I am too).
So it's not like I feel neglected or trying to get sympathy or anything - it's just that there don't seem to be an emotional bond between my parents and I. So sometimes I do feel like I don't have someone constantly here for me - which I find other ones to compensate for.
Well there's my mom who i haven't told but she's on her works LGBT board and we went to Pride and had a booth for her work last year. And then she says stuff like ---- If you marry Britney everything will be ok.
Whcih was random but she pretty much knows.
My dad well he has no clue... I used to act really really straight around him commenting on EVERY guy. But i don't think he's noticed that I no longer comment on them and haven't for a year.. But he'd be pissed and mad and upset and i may or may not be killed. Me and my sister will say something and then shake our hands toward him and like say he's gunna catch lesbianism or what not cuz he had once said something about catching lesbianism. so we make fun of him.
My grandma well she doesn't watch Ellen because she thinks shes "dirty".
~~~NO DAY BUT TODAY~~~
yeah, about the whole "liking girls" situation, i don't really talk to my parents about it (they HATE it) but my 12 and 13 year old brothers kinda know and they don't have much of a problem with it since it's me. i sorta talk about hot girls with my oldest brother and he dosen't really have a problem he's just kinda like "why don't you like guys?".
and as for my older sister....that's where all the trouble is. if i even hint that a girl is cute around her she freaks and yells and says "that's just sick!" they she reports straight back to my parents.... they get really pissed.
"sing like you think no one's listening"
A conversation between me and my sister:
Me: Sex is dirty it's not like it is in the movies
Sis: It's even worse for a woman. When a guy jizzes up you, it's all eww and runs down your leg!
Me: Yeah I know
Me: I know *HINT HINT*
Sis: Ohh!!! ewww!!!!! hahaha
My sister/brother-in-law don't give a damn about it really, we're really close and yeah she doesn't care. She doesn't agree with gay adoption though. I'm always having conversations about how fit X actor is with my sister/mum it's pretty much a non issue.
My mum has said she doesn't care, she's come to a gay bar with me when we went to see p!nk and got along swimmingly with all the lesbians there! And she took me to a gay bar in Rome when we went there.
My nan has always been fascinated by it, my mum said even when she was a little girl my nan used to say "aren't they interesting!" and such, so my nan doesn't care. My mum told my grandparents that if they have any issues with it not to darken her doorway again, and thus far whilst it's not a conversation I've had with them, no homophobia/bad attitude has been directed my way from my grandparents.
My dad's wife is fine with it. My dad however, said "where did it go wrong" when he found out, but yeah...he's not stopped paying my maintenance money or stopped speaking to me, it's just not something we talk about. Besides, I have a fairly non-existent relationship with my dad emotionally.
"If we were to wake up some morning and find that everyone was the same race, creed and color, we would find some other cause for prejudice by noon."
- George Aiken
My mom acted like she already knew, so she really is pretty cool about it.
What sucks is that a lot of my family back east isn't okay with it in the least, but what's worse is that they would SO blame it on my mom for turning me gay. I was homeschooled and I didn't date until I moved away to college. My aunt and granparents were especially concerned that I didn't date. "It's just not NORMAL" was a very common argument started in the family. If I came out to them, they would turn straight to my mom. Obviously since I didn't date men, it's because she didn't let me. Ha, talk about a blindspot.
So my mom is totally cool with me. She even said that she kind of envied me because I don't have to "put up" with men and I won't bring a strange man into the house. (That's SO great, that she would feel like me bringing a man to meet the parents would be more akward than me bringing another lesbian home!) She is cool with me, but at the same time she wants me not to tell anyone that might tell that side of the family.
I came out to my mom at a young age, so she didn't take me seriously at first. She seemed to think that I was "rushing" to discover what my sexuality was, and she kept on telling me that I didn't have to find out who I was this early in life, that I could just enjoy whatever sexual or romantic feelings I get and not wonder whether I'm straight or gay. I wanted to scream at her, "Can't you see it's too late for that now? I already know who I am. Get used to it already!"
She did get used to it, but it took a while. Now she accepts that I'm gay, and so does the rest of my immediate family. (Except for my four- and five-year-old siblings, who don't even know what being gay means.) The only problem she has with me now is grandchildren. She wants me to find some way to have grandkids for her, and she hounds me about it. I tell her that she has three other kids to have grandchildren for her, but she insists that I should have some anyway when I'm older. Ugh.
"Women in rubber will ALWAYS be flirting with me!" --Maureen in the musical RENT
well, my parents are about as liberal as anyone can get, and me coming out to them jsut about made them any more liberal they could get, haha. i didnt realize till i came out, but i guess my moms sister is bi, so she was cool with it, then my dads just like, alright, cool :) and one of my sisters best friends is lesbian, so shes cool with it. overall my family's really liberal haha. my mom's said a couple times how me talking about girls kinda wierds her out, which makes me a bit upset, cause shes so fine with me being lesbian (or i prefer saying gay), but then she doesnt want me to talk about it... wtf. o well, i think she's still trying to get used to the fact, but thats alright, ill give her as much time as she needs
Never be afraid to stand up for whats right. If you lose your values, you've lost yourself, so dont let someone change you into someone you arnt. Don't be afraid of the punishment, Rejoyce in the freedom that let to it.
I came out to my brother first and he was fine with it. He wasn't entirley convinced that i was actualy lesbian. He pretended that he didn't think of it as a big deal but I could tell he actualy did. My mom was really good about it. I was really worried about how she would react because she sometimes wanted me to be a perfect little lady and always thought that eventualy I would become one when I got interested in boys so if she knew that that would never happen she might flip out. I'm glad she didn't.
My dad reacted the worst. He has very liberal views on everything except homosexuality. He doesn't support gay marriage and he thinks that being gay is a choice. He trys to accept me but he still makes the occasional insensitive comment. At least he doesn't make as many gay jokes. (a gay joke he made was the topic of our last argument over my sexuality) Every time I try to talk to him about it it turns into an argument and I get really offended and pissed. He also blames a friend of mine who I've known since I was in 3rd grade for my sexuality because she's bi. She says that ever since I came out to my dad he's been treating her differently.
I haven't come out to anyone else in my family (note to self: come out to my dog) and they don't seem to realize that I'm gay. I'm kinda nervous about coming out to my aunt because she's a fairly religious cathlic. She doesn't support abortion because of her religion so that doesn't bode well for her views on homosexuality. She's never mentioned homosexuality specifily so I hope that she'll be fine with it.
The first member of the family I came out to was my older brother. Though, he was convinced it was a stage. It seemed as if he was trying to talk me out of it. He kept trying to tell me that being Bi (which I believed I was a the time) would cause problems in my life and I shouldn't choose to deal with that. Then when he found out I was lesbian, he said that I'm having an identity crisis *sigh* I just learned to ignore him. We don't talk about it anymore though. I guess he think I got over my "phase". My mom has told me several times that she'd love any of her children, despite who they choose to love. My dad doesn't quite agree. My mom and dad got in an argument over it once. It hurt to hear my dad's desperation in declaring all his children are straight and my mom said that they couldn't be sure of that. I'm wondering who they suspect is gay? My dad seems to think my younger brother because he hasn't had a girlfriend and hangs out with all the guys, but he's just having no luck with the ladies is all. My older brother has a Master's in theater and has never had a girlfriend. And then there's me who had 1 boyfriend (bleh) and doesn't wish to have children or get married. My sister-in-law knows about me, but she seems intrigued and sympathetic. She's always asking me questions, which gets annoying.
~May the spirits guide your every move...to assure you please her in all the right places XD
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