We broke up! Kind of upsetting really what with him being my first boyfriend and everything, but I think deep down I knew it was inevitable. But as the Scissor Sisters said, "everybody wants the same thing", which is someone to love and be loved by. I think a lot of people deny themselves the truth of their relationships in order to go on living in the bubble of happiness that comes with having a partner.
I did cry for like, 30 seconds, which really surprised me because it came out of nowhere and I didn't actually feel sad in my heart. So in the end I did what all sensible people do when they are upset and have just broken up with someone - I got completely wasted. Went out to a couple of nightclubs and I don't remember the last 4 hours of the night. Whoo! But reports from best friend have concluded I lap danced my friend Sam and asked him if he was gay and found some lip gloss on the floor and started putting it on. I also couldn't make it through my front door and stood there bouncing off the door frame, and then crawled on my hands and knees upstairs to bed. But I made it alive. Phew.
And now I officially have "an ex" which actually sounds kinda cool after 19 years of having nobody!
As I said before, I always have the logical objective advice for friends when they break up with someone, so I've decided that after my 24 hour liver-and-kidney-carpet-bombing-session I would smile and get on with things and get over it, which I feel I'm doing quite well. Que sera sera!
P.S. Thank you for the hugs from my last entry, much appreciated :)