Barrel Full Of Babies (important)

Floral Arrangements and Love Secrets's picture

dayummm.. im so bored. i thought i would post something pointless for you guys to read..

Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone astray from the Lord. Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in.

The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child:

-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
-Takes drugs.
-Drinks alcohol.
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits through
meditation.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
-Misbehaves at school.
-Misbehaves at home.
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very
dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your
child may watch.)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.

~St. Mary's Catholic Church

ahahahaha i love it. makes me giggle.

Comments

patnelsonchilds's picture

I'm trying to think of a

I'm trying to think of a single teenager who DOESN'T fit five or more of these criteria.

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Please visit my Myspace Profile and add me as a friend.
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- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"

jeff's picture

Well..

I used to hang out with Marilyn Manson, so I guess I'm screwed.

---

"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." -- Josh Billings.

Add me on MySpace!

BlueDevilWannaBe's picture

hahaha.....

man, that's the funniest thing i've heard in a LONG time...... guess me and everyone i've even met in my life has or is in a Gothic cult, then. churches need to stop being so full of themselves.

Floral Arrangements and Love Secrets's picture

Hahaha. I fit like half of

Hahaha. I fit like half of those.. and i find it hilarious...its great..i love how gay/ or bi is on there too

Damon's picture

Bushy luncheon dates

Have you by chance been having lunch with George W.
This is the funniest thing I have read in a long time! I'd be all of those things if I wasn't so self-conscious. I cut and have one black fingernail, how am I doin'.
Damon

patnelsonchilds's picture

I had masturbated myself

I had masturbated myself straight into hell by the time I turned fouteen. After that I figured I was a lost cause.

_________________________________
Please visit my Myspace Profile and add me as a friend.
_________________________________

- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"

Floral Arrangements and Love Secrets's picture

hahahaha

hahahahaha.

taste the rainbow's picture

Man I always thought of

Man I always thought of myself as a nerd/geek. BUt I guess from what I've read, I'm actually goth. So can I call myself a geeky goth, or gothy nerd?

"What they don't know can't hurt them

but it sure as hell can hurt me"

whateversexual_llama's picture

Wow... that's fun.

Wow... that's fun. ^-^

Whatever I did, I didn't do it.

raining men's picture

Nice

Nice. I will see you all in hell it seems

"Sexual intercourse began in nineteen sixty-three (which was rather too late for me)"

Allie's picture

Buddhism and Hinduism

Buddhism and Hinduism dangerous? Interesting.....and slightly scary that anybody would think that.

dykehalo's picture

So i geuss hell will be

So i geuss hell will be overflowing soon enough. Everyone i know incluing my parents and my grandparents and such can find at least 5.
~~~NO DAY BUT TODAY~~~

wilma wonka's picture

I'm an agent of Satan?

holy crap, I'm an agent of Satan (I knew my orthodontist was but I didn't know I was) Did you make this up or did you find it somewhere and if you found it somewhere, where did you find it?

It's halarious!!!!!!!!!!!

Floral Arrangements and Love Secrets's picture

My friend Heidi found it.

My friend Heidi found it. yep.