Journal post #1 of a 17 year old girl who is labeled bisexual, and is-- for the majority-- closeted.

I joined this site about four days ago, and I felt comforted to read various discussions of people whom share something in common with me. It was a relief just to feel that "I'm not alone" wave of ease.

I would say my "first crush" was probably a year or more ago. I had interests (on some level or another) on others before, but this was the first one that I had actually said to myself "I have a crush on this girl" and wasn't totally up in the air in trying to figure it out. We were close, but she was straight. I moved on to another crush a few months later and told her about my questioning. She was supportive, but I never brought up since... I think out of fear.
The same day I told her, I told my mom, who is my absolute best friend. She was ultimately supportive, and cuddled me when I cried; she said she was going to love regardless of what I did. Plus, she is anti-homophobic and ever open-minded.

I had a boyfriend and I liked him very much. (Boys are still in my field of interest.) And for a while that quieted my interests in girls, but every now and then it was awakened. Being single now has really shook it up, and I think I've zeroed in more on my interests for girls than guys, though I still check out both.

And now I have a new girl-crush and she is an absolute sweetheart... and straight. I'm sure more entries are to come where she will be mentioned.

None of my friends now that I am bisexual, and I haven't confirmed it among the two initial people I told.

Basic background, for you.
End Journal #1.