What's the oddest thing someone has said on a first date?

-Ruby-'s picture

This is from a free weekly newspaper called NOW Magazine. They surveyed people around Toronto and asked them:
"What's the oddest thing someone has said on a first date?"

The Answers:
Are you aware of how lucky you are to be with me?
Can I feel your breasts in front of my dad?
Can I listen to your heartbeat and jerk off to it?
Can I smell your boots?
Can I take you to a tennis court and eat you out?
Can I teach you manners before you meet my mom?
Can I tell people we're dating now?
Can we go back to my place and you watch me in drag?
Did I forget to mention I was seven months pregnant?
Do you accept Jesus as your personal saviour?
Do you like those chime monkeys? Cuz if you do, I don't think we'll work out.
Do you like to suck on your own nipples?
Do you mind if you pay for dinner? I'm going through a really bad divorce and I left my wallet in the car.
Do you think I'll be better in bed than your last guy?
Do you think you could love me forever?
Ever cock-slapped a girl?
Excuse me a minute, I have to call my wife.
Have we dated before?
How does your vagina smell?
I just shit my pants... can I call you later?
I like you in that yellow sweater. You look sort of like a cute little puddle of piss.
I'm single, just waiting for my husband's conviction.
My parole officer wants to meet you.
So, are you in to World War II re-enactments?
The fact that you look like Andy Dick makes me so hard.
What's your name again?
When are you free this week so you can meet my parents?
Who's your favourite serial killer?
Why did you order that?
Will you wait here while I go make out with that guy for a minute?
Would you mind if I smelled your armpit?
You're not getting my pussy on the first date. You get my ass.

Feel free to add your own...

Duncan's picture

OMG!!! Most of those would

OMG!!! Most of those would make me wanna smak the person who said them. No never mind never seeing them again if I was thier date!!
hahaha "You look like a cute puddle of piss!!" ahahhahahah!!

Guys are pretty confusing, and apparently drooling over them doesn't really break the ice...

utter_insanity's picture

This is a momentous occasion...

I have actually found quotes that are a lot more dorkier (not to mention idiotic) than the things I say! I should throw a party or something.


"Women in rubber will ALWAYS be flirting with me!" --Maureen in the musical RENT