My life has been going smooth. Everything's been hunky-dory. Just fine. And one text message makes it all fall apart.

I never wrote about her, but there was once this girl that liked me. I didn't want to date her because she seemed too clingy as a friend, so just imagine her as a girlfriend, so I stopped talking to her. I just didn't want to say it to her face that I couldn't date her.

It's been a half year or so, and she texted me this weekend. I called her. We began talking. I felt happy because I felt empty without her and began developing feelings, but was too much of a weenie to call her. So we talk, and I find out she has a long distance boyfriend. Even worse, there are like 5 guys who like her.

And I know I'm the one that pushed her away, but I'm jealous. I'm not angry at her. I'm angry at myself. I let a wonderful oppurtunity pass right by me. So I now join the club of her admirers. Always there glancing around hoping to see her. Wishing she'd call. Hoping I'd be the one chosen to be her love. But, I'm the idiot that let her go :(

I've felt lately that I haven't liked anyone, but it's because she's always been in the back of my mind. And I hate myself so much for letting her go. I can't concentrate on my schoolwork anymore, even though I have a ton for missing all of last week.

Why'd I let her go?