What did your parents say and/or do when you told them (or they found out) you were gay (bi, etc.)?
My dad made surprised noise, said it was fine but that he was disappointed that we couldn't talk about lesbian sex anymore
My mum already knew

"Sexual intercourse began in nineteen sixty-three (which was rather too late for me)"

lol. My parents kinda forced me to come out. They had been pretty sure that I was for like a long time, I'm sure. But then one night my parents said that they had found some stuff. They had found the little journal I had been keeping to explore my sexuality without comming out. Coupled with all the other times they had found me looking at gay porn on the computer, they pretty well knew. I denied it all, but then, the next morning I was in the car with my mom. She was dropping off my little brother. It was raining. And I told her. I honestly thought I was bi at the time, so that's what I came out as. Well, she took it ok. I was extremely nervous, but she told me that she would still love me no matter what, as she had said before. That weekend my dad said to me he was "going to help me clean my room" I knew he wasn't. That was an excuse to talk to me in my room without my little bother suspecting anything. Well, he tells me that he doesn't thin that I'm "gay or bi or whatever" and that if I just waited and stopped thinking about it, it would go away. I was like yea. ok. And thjat's pretty well how my parents reacted initially. My Dad tries to keep me closeted for fear that my being out will hurt the family and or my family member's relationships with other people. That's dad's opinion and to some degree, it's mom's, too. But it's pretty good. Things could always be worse. By the way, I'm out to pretty well everyone I know.

Guys are pretty confusing, and apparently drooling over them doesn't really break the ice...

What did your parents say and/or do when you told them (or they found out) you were gay (bi, etc.)?

When I came out to my mom we were in our car (a dangerous decision for some). We had been having a discussion about me not liking boys (it was my way of saying I was gay without actually coming out. Most people just thought I didn't like boys 'at that second') and she kept asking if I would ever like boys. Obviously she already knew, or atleast suspected, but kind of wanted to hear it "straight from the horse's mouth". She was amazingly accepting of it, but didn't quite understand it. She wanted to know if there was a reason. She asked me if it was because of my sexual abuse. I said no, that I had asked myself the same question and I was sure it wasn't because of that. With that cleared up, she dove head first into books and pamphlets and the like. It's just the way she goes about things. She is the way she is and I am the way I am.

Given your knowledge of your parents, what do you think your parents will say/do if and when you tell them you're gay (bi, etc.)?

I haven't come out to my dad yet. My dad, someone who was born in a very diverse city (Toronto) can act like a complete hick at times. He's absolutely homophobic. I'm not afraid of coming out to him because of his reaction. Frankly, I'm not sure I care how he reacts. I love him to death, but his reaction isn't going to affect how or with whom I live my life. I just hope he thinks about his grandkids when he decides how he'll react.

Used to be it was a man's world and a woman's place was in the home...
they can kiss that shit goodbye.

First off, I am really close to my mom. I was homeschooled and I told her pretty much everything. So when I found out that I was definately attracted to girls, my immidiate thought was, "Oh God, how am I going to break this to Mom?".
I kept it a secret for a long time, but I eventually told her.
The first thing she said was "I was expecting someting like this." So she wasn't really suprised. She spent a lot of time taking about how it's okay, and she is completely okay with it. That part was a huge relief because I was terrified. I had planned to tell her about ten times before I actually out and did it. She wanted to make sure that I knew about AIDS, which was kind of a joke because she knows how incredibly well read I am about world health, it's practically a hobby.
It was what she said next that made it a mixed experience. She told me not to broadcast it to the rest of the world. I was so happy I had discovered something about myself that I kind of wanted to scream it on top of buildings and paint it on my forehead, but we have very close relatives that would NOT react well to it, and my dad has been under a LOT of stress. I am his perfect little girl, and even though both of my parents are uber-liberal, the shock of it would be hard for him.
She also was worried that being bi meant that infidelity would be a problem because temptation would be coming from both sides.
?????
okay, that was weird
AND she said a lot later that she didn't think I could be really bi because I liked Harrison Ford when I was little.
again....??????? uh, yeah, whatever you say mum
(She probably didn't think about how close I was to this girl at the time, she was the one who got me to like Harrison Ford. Talking about him meant I didn't have to worry about her thinking I was gay when I wanted to be near her).
SO yeah, she was great, but in the same way I felt like she wasn't THAT cool with it. Oh well, I bet she told my dad already anyway.
I have no idea how I am going to tell him.... that could end up interesting.

I decided to take a peek in the closet.
What a suprise to find myself hiding inside!

probably kick me out, but my dad would be cool with it.

3 wheels are better than 4!

Do they react that way because of who we are or because of your personality?
"I like to think it's me."

My mom said she knew since I was three and then proceeded to tell me I wasn't the only gay one in my family (aunt). My dad said he just wants me to be happy, and it doesn't matter who I love. My step-mom said she had no problem with it, and still loved me the same. I set a date to come out to my school by, so i would be forced to come out to everyone in my family and then I wouldn't chicken out with some lame excuse about having plenty of time.

so very close to what you had expected
it makes it hard to keep my head up level
tell me I'm what your hands were made for
tell me I'm who your mouth was made for

Given your knowledge of your parents, what do you think your parents will say/do if and when you tell them you're gay (bi, etc.)?

I know my mom would be completely fine with it. She's always saying to us that she'll love us no matter what. We're her children, and she'll love us. It's my dad on the other hand. He's paranoid about his children being gay. He keeps badgering me about getting married since I said I didn't want children (he takes that as a sign of being gay). My older brother hasn't had children (he's 26) and my dad believes he may be gay. My younger brother had "brothers for life" written on his car by his friend and my dad erased it for fear of people thinking he's gay. Everytime an Ellen Degenres commercial comes on, my dad says, "that's the lez. did you know she's lez?" I don't think my dad would handle it well. Everytime my dad says those types of comments my mom answers back by saying that we're their kids and that they should love us no matter what. I believe he'll get real upset. He has a heart condition, so when he gets upset he gets this painful (and kinda constipated) look on his face. He stays quiet and looks frustrated. If he finds out, I think that'll be it. He go on about what people will think about us. How I could do this to him. That's what I believe he'll do if he ever finds out. My mom, she'll be my shelter, but I know she may want to talk to me about past girlfriends, sex at sleepovers, and that it's still not acceptable to have sex yet even though I won't get pregnant. Basically, the same parental duties.

~May the spirits guide your every move...to assure you please her in all the right places XD

my first relationship really forced me to come out to my parents... basically my mom (who is in a relationship with a woman but i would never consider her to be lesbian or bi for that matter) says to me "you know X is really interested in you" and i was like "really you think so?"... i totally tried to play it off but at that point i knew that they knew...
i told my moms partner first... she said she had known for years (i'm not that butch but she has AMAZING gaydar so i shouldn't be too suprised)... i told my mother later on that weekend... i broke down at a starbucks somewhere... she told me she had known for a long time too...
i guess when you are seventeen, your idea of a perfect day involves a soccer field and a weight room, you have never been kissed and only tried to date once (and it ended miserably)... well, by that time you have a flashing L on your forehead... :)

What did your parents say and/or do when you told them (or they found out) you were gay (bi, etc.)?
They both more or less said "okay, I thought so" when I came out as lesbian.
My dad, when I told him I was trans, is/was confused, but supportive. He said something like "okay..." and we had a long conversation. I think I wrote a journal entry about it.

Given your knowledge of your parents, what do you think your parents will say/do if and when you tell them you're gay (bi, etc.)?
My mom will not understand, I'm fairly certain. She might do the whole 'what did I do wrong?' thing, she might grieve at the 'loss' of her daughter, and she might just be okay and never mention it, or pretend it's not happening. I really don't know.
Do I shock you darling?
-Sally Bowles, Cabaret

I never told them. I know I shouldn't because of what my mom told me when I was little, and asked her, "Why do I have to marry a guy, can't I marry a girl?" She told me, "If you were a faggot, daddy and I will do to you exactly what we did to your cousin Bombi, and your uncle Michael. We will send you away to the homeland, and you will dissappear. I won't tell you how, but no one will help you. It will be an unhappy place, people will hurt you. So that is why you have to marry a boy. That is why you can't marry a girl. That is what happens to faggots in our family." Well I found out eventually what happened, you are left there with no one, and if you want to live the life we know is ours we have to make sure we make great friends to be our second family, because it is true. If you don't have true friends, no one will help you. But of course, my parents throw around the word "Faggot" alot, it hurts, and it hurts my friends.

V is the bomb, he blows with anarchy!!!

I caI came out to my dad first I believe. I was so afraid of what would happen. I knew that he had gay friends and bi and transgender he even had a friend that was a hermaphrodite, so I figured ‘hey, he’ll be cool with it right?’ Kinda. I told him and he was like ‘You know what sweetheart, I’m not totally surprised. but have you had sex with a girl?’ ‘no’ ‘than your not bisexual.’ That hurt. But I suppose I should have seen it coming. My mother…she’s a different story. I don’t really know what she’d do to be honest. I have a good feeling she'd freak out. She accepts gays but when my cousin (who I am very close to and have gone through many a hard time with) came out, my mother denied that we were related and told me that he was not a part of her family any longer. so it's alright to be gay aslongs as your not related to her....Ok, stop, rewind, WTH just happened?? I’m taking a wild stab in the dark that my being bi would mean the end of my family relations. Sucky, but I have friends I could move in with, my best friend Emily, who is straight, knows I’m bi and still loves me so there’s hope for me yet!!

What is hope?
It’s that glimmering star in the distance, the one that makes you want to cry for it’s beauty
Then is there a star of hope for all of us?
Yes, I do believe there is.

Me and my mom came out to each other at the same time so she was fine with it. I was sitting there all nervous and sweaty and i told her. She looked at me laughed and told me she had a good idea it was coming. She came out to me next and we laughed at each other. We had both been so worried about the day and how the other would react so it was a big relief.

Lizzy the Lezzy is my Hero

Since I'm the product of the me generation I got saddled with 4 parents which meant 4 separate conversations. My dad (step-dad) was extremely supportive. He told me that he loved me and gave me a big hug, that really helped my nervousness of coming out to the rest of my family. My mother was slightly confused and wanted to know if this was a college thing, but I pointed out all the non-straight things that I've done over the years and she finally conceded. I think overall she was mostly excited that I was dating, even if it was a girl. My father skirted around the issue and seems to just ignore that part of personality (one of his talents in relation to me) and my step-mom freaked out and has been avoiding me. I think she called her pastor after I left the room. So I got a range from okay to slightly negative. Not bad all in all.

I think that most actors, and they're a very strange lot actors, very strange people, but I think that they attempt to keep in touch with the child.
~Ben Kingsley

to the 2nd question:
my parents would give me long talks about how it's okay, we still love you, it would be quite annoying, but better that "Get out." my mom would be like, "do you really have to be gay??" and all that good stuff.
============================================
I think gay marriage should be something between a man and a woman! -Arnold Schwartzenegger

My mother was pretty striaght forward about it. She said that she would love me and support me no matter what. Ever since i was a little kid i always told my mom i was gay. I mean like when i was 3-4 years old. No lie. But she always used to say. "i will support you son." And that has always made me happy. Wow... i just got into a story without even relizing it.
:P

When I told my mom I was gay, I was pretty wasted at the time, and she started crying said so much for grand kids, but other than that she's been cool about it. Few weeks later she told me I had to tell my dad or else she'd tell him. So I went on a walk with my dad one night and told him, and he said that that's cool, and that in college he had alot of gay friends and that all of them were good guys, and that I should just watch out in school since he doesn't want me getting hurt or anything like that.

What did your parents say and/or do when you told them (or they found out) you were gay (bi, etc.)?

I told my mom in a letter, the summer of eighth grade. She told my dad. They both were okay, and didn't really care. We don't talk about sex much, not that I would want to ayway. So the day after getting the letter she told me that of course she was okay with me being gay, and she knew anyway. (At the time I had so many femmeslash fanfictions floating around my room it was pretty obvious; I just wanted to officially say something.) Life continued normally. I know, it's a pretty boring story. :)

Given your knowledge of your parents, what do you think your parents will say/do if and when you tell them you're gay (bi, etc.)?

Well, I can sort of answer both of the questions. When I was 14, I told my mom I was bi, and she basically dismissed it and told me it was a phase. It was kind of disheartening, because I got all nervous and worked up and finally told her (in the car), and she just acted like it was nothing. She's no doubt forgotten by now. I never told my dad about the bi stuff.

However, I haven't told my parents about being genderqueer. My mom, I think, would handle it ok. I think she would be naturally confused and maybe upset at first, but she would get over it, you know? We've had a lot of history, and she's always been really supportive of me through everything that's happened. She's had cancer 3 times, and each time, she always tells me how it sort of makes you re-examine everything in life, and she realizes how lucky she is and how much she loves all us kids and family and all. Not that she didn't love us anyway or anything. Point being - she has her priorities straight, and I really don't think she'd be angry at all, just surprised. Sorta.
My dad, on the other hand... wouldn't like it. I know he loves me just as much as my mom, but he's definitely less liberal minded about stuff like this. We're Jewish, and not particularly observant, so it's not a religious issue so much as just him. He used to occasionally say sort of offensive things about gay guys, and still if he's telling me someone's gay or a lesbian or something, he kind of pauses mid-sentence and then says it in this tone of voice like... "Well, he's, you know.... (pause) gay." But after living with me and my mom (and my brother and sister, who are pretty open minded people), for so long, he's gotten better about not being a dick about it. One of my sister's best friends, who she met at college, is a gay guy, and I think when he would come and hang out at our house over breaks and stuff, and my dad got to know him as a real person (who's really cool and shares a lot of his views on politics and history and all), that helped him a lot. He's been getting progressively less closed-minded (especially since moving to the west coast from the midwest, specifically Oregon, where if you're closed-minded, you'll be trampled, heh), so I dunno. If he keeps going this way, maybe I'd feel like I could tell him in a year or so. It's all very interesting to watch your parents grow and change - if I stepped back to when I told my mom I was bi, there was no way in hell I would ever have even imagined telling my dad something like that, because I'd figure he'd stop speaking to me. Two and a half years later, I feel like if it were really super important to me to tell my dad I'm bi, I could do it and he'd deal with it okay. Hmm. Looks like young people aren't the only ones who can change. :)
Hope this is helpful. :)

It's kind of hard to know for sure, but it should go like this: my dad will probably be disappointed, but not angry, and come to terms quickly; my mom, on the other hand, will probably be offended, cry, try to convince me I'm not, and then avoid me for as long as possible. She lives a few thousand miles away, though, so we are not overly close to begin with. Overall, I don't think it will be too terrible but I'm still a little apprehensive to actually do it.

You've probably got a sufficient sample group by now, but here's my 2 cents.

What did your parents say and/or do when you told them (or they found out) you were gay (bi, etc.)?

Mum: I told her one night after a couple glasses of wine. My close friend Kirsty convinced me everything would be okay when we were at the pub the day before, and from what I remember I was just sitting at the computer. My heart was beating really fast and I had butterflies in my stomach and just figured, "I can't keep running from this forever, I'll do it tonight." And I just felt scared because it was such a big life changing thing to do and once the words "I'm gay" came out of my mouth I can't go back. So yeah it turned out she already had strong suspicions, still loved me, upset about lack of grandchildren from me and also concerned for my wellbeing due to homophobia, but she herself was 100% fine with it. This was somewhere in the Summer of 2006. I remember because me and Kirsty could sit out in the beer garden when we were discussing coming out to my mum lol.

Dad: Found out when a friend of my sister told my dad's wife, who then told him. This was at my sister's wedding. I've not spoken to him about it since, although the morning after the wedding my dad's wife (I don't call her "step mum") said she knows dad can be insensitive and sound homophobic in the way he speaks, but he doesn't mean it. I said I think he does mean it. She started to cry a bit and said that they both still loved me, and that she doesn't want me to feel frustrated. I said I don't feel frustrated, although that was kind of a lie. My mum also told me he said, "Where did it go wrong?" Other than that though he hasn't stopped my maintenance money and his attitude towards me hasn't changed either. But we don't talk about it. I don't see him an awful lot anyway often only once a month if that. He found out on October 14th 2006, I remember because it's my sister's wedding :P

You know, reading through some other replies (I haven't read them all), it really puts an apple in my throat the number of people who are "disappointments" to their parents. I feel like I'm a disappointment to my entire family too looking back on the things they've said. It's a shame.

"If we were to wake up some morning and find that everyone was the same race, creed and color, we would find some other cause for prejudice by noon."
- George Aiken

Given your knowledge of your parents, what do you think your parents will say/do if and when you tell them you're gay (bi, etc.)?

I wish I could say I already came out....but I can't. I mean I am pretty open with everyone else about it but my parents. Also I know my dad would just be like "whatever" and ask me about my math (AP calc is fun). Yet, the reason to why I am not open to either of my parents centers around my mom. I know my dad would want to tell my mom and I know that all hell would break lose. I tried to tell her once and almost got there. It was about 3 years ago and I was in the car riding back from another worryless day of freshman year. When I took probably all the courage I had plus some on a payday loan and asked what she thought about homosexuals. She said that was okay but a good amount were just pretending...which made me feel bad so I asked about bisexuals and she saidquite curtly and with annoyance at the concept....that it was a phase and that it was immature and impossible. she always wonders now why I never have a boyfriend or want to talk about life like that......the fact that I feel like I can't trust a woman who loves me deeply to not accept me as a person for being bi kind of makes it impossible for me to connect with them. I mean its a big part of me, and I know that I am kind of confused to if I am gay or bi, but still I really want to be open to everyone and it hurts that someone usually so accepting can't accept the ideal of bisexuality.........

Moonmage

My brother and sister know, i told them last october. I think my dad would be fine with it, but my mom...i dont know. She yells alot, sometimes i think she looks specificly for things to yell about. she would want to make all these rules for just me and would interogate me on any guy i went to see, even if he wasnt gay she would probubly assume so. They will find out eventually but i'm not going to go out of my way to tell them. She might cry or something, probubly get mad at me, but eventually she might get over it enough to talk civily to me.

I told my mom about me having a girlfriend because I felt it was something she should know and she freaked. She grounded me from everything, told me I wasn't allowed to see or talk to my girlfriend, took my phone and my car, and made me quit my job. She told me until I could live like a "normal" teenager then I couldn't enjoy "normal" things. My dad didn't really have much to say about it. He was upset, but he didn't know how to react. It's been 8 months and my girlfriend and I are still together. My parents are slowely getting over it. Well, getting used to it, I should say. I think they've come a long way, but they still have a long way to go. It's the waiting that's the hardest.

"So you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts.
Whats so amazing about really deep thoughts?"