Recently, I have been dying to tell someone about my sexuality, and just get it off my chest. (No offense, Oasis, I love you all.) I have formulated a 'plan' if you will, to see if I could possibly do this without being:
a.) Being murdered by family
b.) Being deserted/murdered by old friends
c.) Being murdered by strangers while at school
My plan consists of innocently asking my friends questions about how they feel about sexuality. If I determine that it is safe, I will drop hints here and there, and perhaps tell them soon after that.
Now, my family. Aargh, a thousand times more difficult because I live with them, and will for four more years. My brother has recently been picking up on my brainwaves, apparently, because he has been teasing me about how he thinks I am lesbian and so forth. (Not exactly uplifting.) I will probably listen discreetly at family gatherings, to see how they feel about homosexuality. I know my mom has a lesbian friend, and my dad has a gay co-worker, so they are not extremely homophobic. This stage of the plan has yet to be fully formulated, I guess. If my friends' reactions are positive, then I think I will have a better gauge of how my family will react.
Woah, that was scary. I'm typing with my bedroom door open (always a bad idea) and my dad just passed by. I thought he was going to come in and ask what I have been writing about. *Shiver*
Stage 1 went into effect today, as I wrote to two of my friends. I was writing a normal letter, and asked at the end of the first if she would still be my friend if I wasn't who she thought I was.
To the other, I had to tell a lie. I greatly dislike lying, but I don't think I could have done anything else. I told her that I had to ask someone these questions for biology class. (A bit of a stretch, but maybe she won't think too much about it.) The questions were something like:
1. Are you homophobic? (Blunt and to the point.)
2. How would you feel if you found out that someone (relative, friend) was gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender?
3. How would you alter your relationship with that person (if you would?)
Ok, my friend just came over, so I have to go.
Do you guys think that this is a good idea?
Thanks for letting me say these things.