I think I am totally just procrastinating by making this journal entry. I am supposed to be studying but I keep ending up on here. I have done everything to avoid what I actually should be doing today.
Well anyways I guess I may as well give an update on my life since I am here and really don't want to get back to what I was doing. I was talking to my best buddy earlier and we have planned to meet up this week, so I have definitly decided that I am going to come out to her then. No more putting it off or finding reasons not to because I am going to go crazy if I don't just say it. I am bracing myself for the worst possible reaction but hopeing for the best. Either way at least it will be out in the open. I keep going over in my head how to bring it up and what to say. But I don't want to have a speech prepared or anything. I think I will just say that I need to talk to her about somthing, and then just tell her that I like girls, and see where the conversation goes from there. I don't really want to use a lable like saying "i'm gay" or "i'm bi" because I'm not 100% sure on what I am and I don't want to confuse things by saying that I am somthing when I am not really sure. Basically I know I like girls so I will just explain exactly how I feel and just be honest. Thats the plan anyways.
On a different note I had the oddest dream last night. In my dream I woke up in bed and there was this girl there with me that I had never seen before and whom I found really unattractive but it turned out I had slept with her when I was drunk and couldn't remember. Then she kept talking about how we would be together forever and I was totally freaking out. Then my mam came in,knew we had slept together and was really happy about it,and then she kept saying how great it was that I had found this girl.But I was still freaking out. The rest of the dream I then spent trying to get away from this girl. It was absolutly crazy. It was one of those dreams that when you wake up you look around and wonder if it was real,and then be totally relieved when you realise it wasn't.
Well thats all from me,guess I'll get back to my lame attempt at studying, though I am starting to feel sleepy!