Well lately at school it seems as if I can't concentrait on my school work case in point being that I have grammar spelling problems. Math is going ok being that its General Math. Nothing hard or time consuming yet I only do like one page a day should be doing more. History and Science I haven't been doing at all I don't know why. I try to get back in the swing of things and I stop suddenly again. Like I don't know what or how I can get back.

I keep trying to connect with people even on a friend level emotionally and it doesn't work. Part of me thinks its me. Then theres this other part that understands that they might already have someone they connect like that to. Also that maybe their not just ready yet to have a connection like that or that they can't open up. Their guarded.

I don't know but if I don't find a way to get myself put back together back to the old me that handled all her responsibilities but also keeping part of the new me. I just feel as if I have to choose between being old me that did her work but everything else she didn't like about herself. Or the new me that doesn't do anything is basically a loser and going to end up nothing but now has friends.

I just don't know.

Lexi