the horse that i always ride at my riding lessons, the sweetest horse ever, my favorite horse in the world DIED tiday. he fucking died!!!! i know he was old and it was his time, but i miss him so much already, knowing he's not in the world anymore. he was sick for a while. he just laid down and died today. there was no pain. im glad he didnt feel anything, but im so sad he's gone. i just cant believe it. its just like if a person i knew died. he was such a presence in my life, and i didnt even realise it until after he was gone, illl never get to ride him again, to feel the way he moves. ill miss him so much, i loved him and i hope he loved me and i just want him back and i just love him aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah i cant believe hes gone oh my god oh my god oh my god ill never get ot see him ever and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. he was the best he never tried to hurt anyone he was so sweet and gentle and i loved him he was such a character and now hes gone hes fucking gone!!!!! crap o m g hes just dead and ill never see him again. ok i have to stop now, or ill just start sobbing.

sorry.

i wrote this a couple hours ago right after i found out he died. . . . . its a poem and a paragraph that i wrote after i wrote the poem.

I loved you
And i lived for you
and i hope you lived for me too.
i hope the last thought in your head
was how your gonna miss me.
i'll miss you always
forever
my tears are for you.
i hope your watching over me
i hope ill see you again
ill ride you through the pearly gates
we'll both be young
and happy
and healthy
ill canter you bareback
in a ring of clouds
and there will be no more tears.

Val died today. he was my favorite horse. i loved him so much. i loved the way he rubbed against me after i rode him, and i loved how he always fell asleep before i got on him. I loved how he was so head shy and how his canter was like a rocking horse and his jump threw me forward. he was so sweet and gentle and i loved him and ill never forget him, i hope he's in a better place, cantering on clouds, young again, like in my poem

i love you val.

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so that was the poem and the paragraph. i have to stop typing now im just repeating myself. i hope he knows i love him.